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overcoming depression

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  • July 28, 2016 at 8:36 am #110767
    ridiredhood
    Participant

    Hello everyone,
    So, I am 19 now and in college, studying engineering.
    I had a rough childhood. I grew up poor and my dad had been a drug addict. My mother had affairs outside marriage and though my parents provided for me, they were never able to give me the emotional support I needed growing up. I have extreme exam anxiety and a problem communicating with people. I do fall in love but not attracted to them. Is this normal? Will attraction develope over time? I had body image issues in past but now I do not. I still have to fight exam anxiety during finals.
    I used to be a staright A student but now I am not. I would not be able to continue my studies without financial aid and my grades need to be pretty high for that. I think I am going to end up being unemployed because my grades are not in college at all. Love, academics, career- I feel like everything is just slipping. Does it get easier as I grow up?
    It feels like all I enjoy doing is reading and tutoring ninth graders. I hoped to become a college teacher someday but as my grades are not good at all, I’m afraid that’s not possible anymore. I also wanted to travel to US when I was younger and see the places. But I am afraid that the dream got lost somewhere along the way. I am in one of the top colleges in my country and I see ambitious and hard working students and graduats and it makes me unbelievably sad of what could have been.
    Thanks for reading. Advice needed.

    July 28, 2016 at 12:05 pm #110788
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear ridiredhood:

    You wrote: ” I do fall in love but not attracted to them. Is this normal? Will attraction develop over time? I had body image issues in past but now I do not.” A possible answer is that you don’t feel attraction because you are afraid, because of your anxiety. When we are anxious enough, the body shuts down, we become numb. This is naturally how the body responds to fear.

    All of our functioning suffers because of anxiety, even academic success. Everything is minimized when we are anxious. So anything you can do to reduce, manage and even heal your anxiety will be most helpful. You can search maybe for free or very low cost psychotherapy, and/ or yoga classes, aerobic exercise (free, walk fast around a park) etc. Reduce your anxiety every day in ways that don’t harm you.

    anita

    July 28, 2016 at 7:39 pm #110814
    Mark
    Participant

    Hey rideirehood,

    You say you are feeling all this anxiety as exams approach, yet the only thing you enjoy is tutoring ninth graders. You are still so young… perhaps you are in the wrong field? I am a 9th grade teacher and I find my job very rewarding. Make sure you choose to do something you want to do, and not something that will make you overwhelmed or unhappy your whole life. We tend to cling to the negative… try to allow as much positive into your life as you can.

    Depression often means you are moving away from something you should be working toward. Perhaps the reason why you are not attracted to others is because you have not found the one you’re meant to be with yet. You’re 19! Decide on the person you want to become, make a list of goals and break down the steps each one will take. Each morning, ask yourself how you can move closer toward your goals today. I think it also helps to focus on how you can help others.

    As for whether things get better as you are older, I really am not sure how to answer that. I think a lot of it depends on the direction you choose to take. Good luck!

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 4 months ago by Mark.
    July 29, 2016 at 12:21 am #110836
    Livelovelifeeleni HappyMotivation, Advice, Outreach & LifeCoaching
    Participant

    Dear beautiful angel of isn’t too late. You got your WHOLE BEAUTIFUL LIFE TO discover what you want and get to your dream job. I promise you your dreams WILL COME true. YOU MUST believe they will and work hard. Stay close and do more of wht makes y happy from a yummy food, Laugh-In funny videos hugs love…anything that makes you happy or distracted focus on it. And take time to notice how lucky you are to be able to have a college and get education and you get to help people and give back to those kids you turtor. Don’t focus on others..focus on your journey. Remind yourself you desevre happiness. Fight for it. Make it happen do stuff that makes you happy. You aren’t a failure. Focus on studying hard. And I’d you fail try again. You will get a job I promise and you can still go go college. You got the whole rest of your life. Youll get there you beautiful person. Thank u for existing you aren’t alone we love you you matter anand best of luck. Work hard write down your goals don’t worry bout how you’ll get them just have faith positive thoughts and stay strong. Talk to someone about this and remember u desevre to be happy. It’s never too late to live the life you love. Be happy in the present and trust in your journey for it is unique and beautiful U ROCK THANKS FOR BEING U <3

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