Home→Forums→Relationships→overcoming feeling low for foolishness
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Anonymous.
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June 4, 2014 at 6:52 pm #58129
anonymousParticipantHi All,
my parents met this guy in one of my cousins marriage and they happend to like me. I was in usa so couldnt see him face to face. His family background was too good. His father had died early of cancer but still both him and his sister studied hard to come to current status. His family members are now in usa and happily settled. My cousin and myself were not good frns but that guy just ditched me and he dint create a good impression on me. we met out of personal interest and i fell for him started having feelings for him and missing him in his absence. Never felt this for any other guy in my life. it felt as if we were meant to be together. we broke up as our understanding dint match. I couldnt replace him with anyother guy so dint get married to anyone and waited for him. He started dating his childhood frn and was in deep love for her already which i was not aware but i started still pursuing him knowing may be someday that guy would knwo my worth.now i got to know that they are marrying in feb. and are going to be forever together. He seemed to be a great guy to me with great values. I feel i have missed him totally in my life and m not able to overcome this grief. every time m alone this kills me. how do i deal with this?June 5, 2014 at 10:27 pm #58215
@Jasmine-3ParticipantHi Anonymous
You have not missed out on any golden opportunity with this guy. Sometimes, it is hard to see the hidden blessings in every circumstance but please do take a moment to count the good things and people who are still in your life. Hey, cheer up and enjoy life. You will find someone who is right for you when the time is right – have faith in your faith 🙂
In the meantime, be kind to yourself and send your blessings to the couple who are due to marry in Feb. Let them go, pls.
Blessings
Jas
June 9, 2014 at 9:20 am #58406anonymousParticipantI am always in favor of those who are in love and are together but the fact that he is seeing me as his enemy is something i dint like he didnot even appreciate me once for what i felt for him all the time it felt as if i am going to him for a need basis. i regret the fact that i put myself down and dint let him appreciate my beauty. so ur saying their love is a fruitful one and mine is a destructive one?
June 9, 2014 at 12:43 pm #58412anonymousParticipantHi Jas/anyone,
awaiting your reply!!!June 9, 2014 at 5:32 pm #58438@Jasmine-3ParticipantHi Anonymous
You cant change someone’s perception of you. If someone sees you as an enemy, you cant do much. If someone sees you as a goddess, you cant do much either. Everyone has their own lenses on, through which they see people and these perceptions change with self growth, time etc.
What you can do is be YOU. You are a loving, peaceful and powerful being. Be that.
Love is neither fruitful or destructive. It is just an emotion and everyone feels it differently. You need to just focus on giving yourself the love that you need to get past this incident. No act is foolish or heroic. Our mind makes it either way. We can train our mind to do what we want it to do 🙂
Some people grieve or hurt for a day, some for weeks, some for months and some for ever. But how long we continue this process depends on just us. The choice to move on forward in life is purely in our hands.
Take the best out of this relationship and move forward with your head held high up. Be proud of yourself and what you can offer yourself.
Blessings and may your heart get some peace.
Jasmine
June 9, 2014 at 5:43 pm #58440anonymousParticipantBut what about him tarnishing my image infront of his relatives and family frns???? he is spreading a very negative vibe which he is not ashamed of himself on.
June 9, 2014 at 5:48 pm #58442@Jasmine-3ParticipantHi Anonymous
I am sorry that he is doing such a thing. Again, I will say the same thing – you cant change what people do or say or act out as. I do know one thing though – what goes around comes around eventually. Nature or Universe is very balanced in its justice system. We humans can be biased or judgmental but Universe never takes sides.
Let this phase pass and you just focus on being YOU. Let him do whatever he wants to do – nothing will ever touch you if you do not allow it to and have faith that you are loved and life will unfold beautifully for you.
If you get too attached to this incident, you will create a lot of negativity and the cycle of pain will keep repeating. The more negativity you send out into the Universe, the more it will follow you. Do you get the point ?
Jasmine
June 9, 2014 at 5:49 pm #58443anonymousParticipantYes I do thanks a lot!!
June 9, 2014 at 5:51 pm #58444@Jasmine-3Participant🙂 Stay well and happy.
Jasmine
June 11, 2014 at 2:21 pm #58632anonymousParticipants I tried to reach out to him and his uncle to stop trashing things about me..coz i have made mistakes which are really foolish enough..i just lost my selfrespect and i feel very helpless my parents cant even defend me or feel proud of me..what do i do?
June 13, 2014 at 5:43 am #58781
MikeParticipantMen never really grow out of their boyish tendencies. It is hard for a lot of guys to ever realize how to handle a woman when it comes to this stuff, especially a woman who loves them yet they reject. To them it gives them the right treat you like nothing. We must remember that just because we love someone, we can never make them love us. It is sad especially for the lover, but how can you be in love with such a callous guy? Often times we mistaken our need to be accepted by a person who we see as “superior” to others as a love for them, after all, love is in a way accepting a person faults and all. But, when in a situation one person sees themselves as better than the other or the other person sees the other person as better than all the others then it turns hurtful for the person. Obviously there are way better guys than this guy, who treats people like this?!?
Your ego has been hurt and you feel as if he is the only one that can mend it. If you just leave your ego out of your assessment of the situation you will see!
November 30, 2015 at 10:08 am #88552anonymousParticipantHi mike/ jas,
That guy I mentioned in the post above is happily married n settled. N in no way he will think or care about me. But here my parents are sad ,n upset n I think back n cry as to why things don’t work in my favor. My problem is I shared my heart break with everyone ND it came back at me with i myself tarnishing my own image. I feel guilty about being such a fool n not courageous enough to wait for what I deserve. It’s like I wasn’t smart enough to hide my mistakes or anything bad that happend to me. It’s totally like I have foul mouthed myself. N he is there living peacefully n happily with his wife with all the love n care. Did I deserve this??? Did I deserve to be punished for loving someone so badly n then I myself tarnishing my image??? Everytime u think in myself I see him pointing mistakes in me n insulting me fir who I am this happens in my head though . It’s like I stopped loving myself completely after he left me. I lost my own value in my own eyes. In fact the moment I figured out that I was the reason why he broke up with me it was my impatience that resulted in him leaving me I couldn’t forgive myself for it. He was a man who needed space n that’s what was attracted me to him n I dint respect his space I believe. Where as his wide exactly knows his feelings n gives him ample support n that’s what makes their relationship ideal . N I feel bad that I was not mature enuf to be cool n wait until things fell in right place. How do I over email this??? Can anyone plz help me????
November 30, 2015 at 10:12 am #88553anonymousParticipantThere is like nothing else I can do to make him feel that he missed a valuable person. Coz he married someone he genuinely loved. N there is like nothing God will do to put him on shame for insulting me.
November 30, 2015 at 10:38 am #88554
AnonymousGuestDear anonymous:
There is more to you than the story of you and that man, a married man. More to you than the mess you are referring to in this thread starting a year and a half ago. There is MORE. And this more is not where you are looking. It is as if you are looking in the dark and in that darkness there is one flashlight and the only light is directed at that man and what happened.
You need to turn on the light elsewhere, to see into other areas in that darkness. The answers, the hope and love you are looking for is NOT where you are looking at.
Turn the light off in that area, that man and what happened there. Turn on the light elsewhere, there … and there too. See more into who you are and what your life can be about.
anita
December 3, 2015 at 8:57 am #88790anonymousParticipantHi anita,
I truly understand that there is more to it but how can I forget this??? This has totally broken me n as days pass by I still wake up feeling empty. N him just treating me as a waste piece. How can I move on when something so irrelevant happend, I really don’t know why m so hurt n the issue isn’t resolved. Coz there is no justice to this n the fact is that m a bad person and I m being punished for my deeds is thus true??? Did I mean bad for him when I said I loved him was i selfish??? Is this the result of my karma? He isn’t even sparing a single thought on what has happened d to me?? Infa c the he is happy that m suffering he is happy that I m undervalued he is happy that he left me n is in peace someto.especially I thinknow of revenge buthe there is nothing I can do , truth is someone treated me like waste n dumped me despite of me being a successful n independent professional how is this even fair??
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