Dear Honesty55:

Thank you for sharing that—it takes a lot of courage to speak up, especially when CPTSD is in the picture.

For many people—especially those who’ve experienced trauma, emotional neglect, or unpredictable responses from caregivers—oversharing becomes a defensive strategy. It’s like saying, “If I reveal everything up front, no one can accuse me of hiding something, lying, or being inconsistent.” That hyper-transparency becomes a way to try to protect oneself from judgment, rejection, or conflict before it even happens.

In a sense, oversharing becomes a kind of armor. It’s rooted in fear: fear of being misunderstood, fear of being blindsided by criticism, or fear of being perceived as dishonest or “too much.” So instead of letting connection unfold at a natural pace, the person might rush to unload everything in the hope of controlling the outcome—or proving they have nothing to hide.

It’s often not a conscious choice. It can feel like a compulsion, wired into the nervous system as a form of self-preservation.

Please know you’re not alone in this. So many of us are still learning how to feel safe without needing to explain everything first. If you feel like sharing more or just want someone to reflect with, I’m here and would be honored to listen. You deserve safety, clarity, and connection—on your own terms and in your own time.

Sending you encouragement and care, Anita

Hi Honesty

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had these difficulties with people. ❤️

Unfortunately, I feel like people are always going to behave in these ways whether you overshare or not. It is just certain characters.

People often act in patterns. I find paying attention to how people treat and talk about others helpful because they are likely to treat you in a similar way.

I also kind of share things in specific ways. A little at a time, slowly building the level of trust. If someone proves trustworthy in one area, I feel confident in sharing a bit more. It does take time to get to know others tendencies though.