I find my 9 year old brother slacking more and more when it comes to his school work. I’ve brought it up to my mother and step father but they disagree on the methods to correct him and make him study.

My mother is way to lax with him and lets him do what he wants. Yes, she does attempt to get him to do his homework but she doesn’t push him too hard on it. If my brother gets to defensive or starts whining about why he doesn’t want to do it or won’t do it my mother lets him have his way.

My step father on the other hand is strict when it comes to education. When I brought up my concerns with him he took away my brother’s iPad and made him read for 2 hours. I think that is too much. Usually what ends up happening with my brother is my step father tells him to go read for a while, my brother will pretend to go do it, my step father catches him and takes away whatever device he is using for a week or so and then my brother throws a tantrum.

While I want my parents to get my brother to do his school work I feel that their responses are polar opposites. I don’t know what to do because either way, it seems like things are not working out.

I pick up my brother from school and I take care of him until my parents get home. I always try to get him to read, do his homework, study, etc. Sometimes he does it, but most times I get an, “I all ready did my homework at school” response. Sometimes I don’t push him, but I find myself always telling him to read. Sometimes he’ll listen and other times he tried to negotiate or full out ignores my request. Two months ago his teacher spoke to me about how he hadn’t reached his AR goal yet and that he needed to do it by the end of the week. I had a discussion with my brother about him needing to put more effort into his reading. I pressured him and he got it done.

He stayed on track for a while. Then I found out he had failed a spelling test. I got him to study and raise his grades. We agreed that he would at least try to get an 80 each week and that otherwise would result in no electronics or games for a week. We agreed, but just today when I tried to get him to study he declined. He started raising his voice and he said, “why an 80? As long as I pass I shouldn’t get punished. I should only get in trouble if I fail.” To which I replied to him that his grades are important and he ended up yelling that he didn’t care about his grades.

Obviously, something is not right. He is obsessed with Youtube and his games but he needs to put in the effort. I know that he is not my child but since I am the one who takes care of him while my parents are away I find that it is my responsibility that he do his school work and have good grades.

Is there anything I can do to get him on track to get it together? I feel that neither of my parent’s attitudes or approaches are good. My mother is way too trusting that he’ll do what he needs to do and my step father is too demanding.

My parents have always been this way when it comes to our education. I got in trouble a lot when it came to school when I was in middle school. My step father was hard on me and demanded I do well. I never liked his methods but now that I am older I appreciate it because ultimately had he not been so strict with me, I don’t think I would be so dedicated to my own school work now. However, I do not think that this is the only method to get a child to do his homework.

Parents, what do you do when your children do not want to do their homework or don’t seem to care?