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Passing clouds

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Viewing 15 posts - 136 through 150 (of 160 total)
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  • August 12, 2024 at 1:14 pm #436097
    Zenith
    Participant

    My husbands childhood was so normal because he doesnt overact to situations/people like me.

    August 12, 2024 at 1:33 pm #436098
    Zenith
    Participant

    For the past 6 years . My anxiety was effecting only ME. Now this anger is effecting my relationships. I never felt this much anger before in my life.

    August 12, 2024 at 1:52 pm #436099
    anita
    Participant

    I’ll reply in a few hours, Zenith.

    anita

    August 12, 2024 at 5:47 pm #436102
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zenith:

    “My husbands childhood was so normal because he doesn’t overact to situations/people like me“- maybe he under-reacts as a result of his version of abnormal childhood.

    “For the past 6 years . My anxiety was effecting only ME. Now this anger is effecting my relationships. I never felt this much anger before in my life.“- Rage at not getting the attention you want..?

    You can type away your rage here, if you want, let it express itself through your fingers and into the screen..?

    anita

    August 25, 2024 at 2:51 pm #436585
    Zenith
    Participant

    I dont know if my husband under reacts.Atleast he is living peacfully.Another incident happened today. Yesterday my husband invited my neighbors family to go outside to eat food.They rejected it saying that they had thier lunch already.This happened yesterday.We didnt go too postponed it to today.We went today.He thiught of calling inviting them too but then i said they wont come.When i was eating my food I saw my friend and her family coming to the same restaurant along with her group of friends.That just made me so angry in that moment.She should have made the effort to come along with us instead of going them. My husband started supporting her that the friends must have made the plan and thats ok.I said thats not okay she is not putting the effort in our friendship.I just want to get rid off her. My husband is works remote so doesnt have this social interaction.He still wants to meet them.My little one craves to play with friends daughter. I am just torn apart.

    August 25, 2024 at 2:52 pm #436587
    Zenith
    Participant

    He want to meet people and I want to stay away from people for a little while.

    August 25, 2024 at 6:29 pm #436594
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zenith:

    “I saw my friend..  I want to stay away from people for a little while.“- will it help if you no longer think of her as a friend (and therefore have expectations of her fitting a friend), and instead, think of her as nothing but a mere acquaintance (and therefore, no expectations)?

    anita

    August 26, 2024 at 9:46 am #436616
    Zenith
    Participant

    I tried doing that. I told myself that we are not close anymore and I should stop expecting from her. I was doing pretty okay until the incident happened yesterday. My husband still wants to be friends with them and keep inviting me all the time. I hate it. I dont want friends and he wants to be surrounded by people.

    August 26, 2024 at 10:23 am #436618
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zenith:

    “I don’t want friends“- I see your all-or-nothing tendency, as in: if she is not in your life all the way, then she must not be in your life at all.

    “I was doing pretty okay until the incident happened yesterday“- you need to learn to tolerate or regulate being triggered, to not over-react emotionally (or behaviorally). We talked about emotion regulation. Remember my (emotion regulation) NPARR strategy?

    There’ll always be triggers, and feeling okay will be temporary until you successfully practice emotion regulation.

    anita

    August 26, 2024 at 10:38 am #436619
    Zenith
    Participant

    I have been with 3 friends till now. I feel like they change when they find someone new. So, I am tired of these  friendships and this friend is really hard to let go . Yeah, I dont want her in my life if she dont want to put the effort of meeting us. Right now I am angry with her that she said yes to this group and no to us. This has happened in more than couple of instances. How do I regulate my anger now. By forgiving her ?

    August 26, 2024 at 10:50 am #436620
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zenith:

    “How do I regulate my anger now. By forgiving her?“- if by forgiving, you mean to shift from anger to peaceful acceptance of reality, then yes, but.. how can you achieve this shift?

    anita

    August 26, 2024 at 11:01 am #436621
    Zenith
    Participant

    By forgiving her mistakes and still keep inviting her.

    August 26, 2024 at 11:28 am #436624
    anita
    Participant

    I’ll be back to you in a few hours, Zenith!

    anita

    August 26, 2024 at 12:40 pm #436625
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zenith:

    I am in the middle of working when I realized, your latest one-sentence post does not require a lengthy response, “By forgiving her mistakes and still keep inviting her.”- yes, if you can do this, and as a result, you achieve a peaceful acceptance of reality (and peace with your husband), then yes, forgive her and invite her again.

    anita

    August 26, 2024 at 12:52 pm #436626
    Zenith
    Participant

    lol. It sounds easy but hard to do.

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