Dear Zenith:

You’re most welcome! Thank you for being so open and honest in sharing your thoughts. Acknowledging these challenges is a courageous step, and I truly admire your dedication to improving your health and well-being.

Regarding your diet and IBS: while you can use traditional Indian spices when cooking for your husband, for yourself, you might explore IBS-friendly ways to season your food. Fresh herbs like basil, parsley, or dill; gentle spices like cinnamon or turmeric; or even a touch of lemon can add flavor without upsetting your gut. Ingredients like fennel, ginger, and mint are also great options that are both gut-friendly and versatile.

On working remotely: it’s completely understandable to feel more anxious when working alone since the presence of colleagues can be grounding and comforting. To make remote work more manageable, consider creating a soothing home environment, perhaps with calming background sounds or by arranging virtual co-working sessions with a colleague. Small adjustments like these can help make working from home feel less isolating.

As for feeling uneasy about solitude, it’s entirely natural to seek comfort in company, especially when dealing with anxiety. Strengthening your relationship with yourself takes time, but incorporating simple, enjoyable activities—such as journaling, crafting, or gentle stretching—into your alone time can be helpful. Being present in the moment during these activities can make solitude feel more nourishing and less intimidating.

Zenith, your resilience and commitment to addressing these challenges are truly admirable. If there’s anything more you’d like to share or if there’s a specific way I can assist you, know that I’m always here for you.

anita

Dear Zenith:

I just looked up the missing case: Sudhiksha Konanki, a 20-year-old University of Pittsburgh student, went missing 12 days ago after drinking alcohol and then going to the beach with a few others. She possibly drowned, while intoxicated, possibly foul play was involved.

It’s completely natural to feel worried about your child’s future, especially when you see stories like the above, or hear about the negative impacts of alcohol, drugs, and other cultural influences. Good parents want to protect their kids from harm and guide them toward making healthy choices.

It’s true that some aspects of American culture, like the normalization of drinking or casual attitudes toward certain behaviors, can feel overwhelming—especially when they clash with the values we were raised with. But I think it’s also important to remember that as a parent, you have a strong influence on shaping your child’s values and decision-making. By encouraging open communication, teaching her about consequences, and modeling the behaviors you want to see, you can help them navigate these challenges.

Your concerns show how much you care about your child’s well-being, and that’s such a powerful foundation. It’s okay to feel uneasy, but it’s also worth focusing on the positive steps you’re already taking to create a safe and supportive environment for your little one.

If you ever want to talk more about this or share ideas, I’m here for you.

anita

Dear Zenith:

Thanks for sharing what’s on your mind. Parenting can definitely feel tricky—trying to find that middle ground between being too strict and too lenient isn’t easy. It’s clear how much you care about your child’s future, and that’s such a great starting point.

I get why seeing stories like Sudhiksha Konanki’s case or reading those Reddit posts would make you feel worried. The cultural differences between what you grew up with and what you see around you in the U.S. can feel overwhelming. It’s natural to wonder how to protect your child while still giving them the freedom to grow.

One thing that might help is focusing on open and honest communication. Instead of scaring your kid into avoiding things like drinking or casual relationships, you can explain why those things don’t align with your values. Let them understand where you’re coming from in a way that feels supportive rather than controlling.

At the same time, setting boundaries is okay! You can guide them while making sure they feel safe and heard. It’s all about striking that balance and creating an environment where they can talk to you without fear of judgment.

As for the fear you’ve carried from your own childhood—it sounds like you’ve already started breaking that cycle just by being aware of it. That’s a huge step. Moving to India might be an option worth thinking about if it feels right for your family, but remember, your influence as a parent matters more than where you live.

You’re doing your best, and it shows. Parenting is tough, but your thoughtfulness and care mean you’re on the right path.

anita

Dear Zenith:

Maintaining calm with kids is very important- that’s when they are able and willing to listen to you. I bet there are YouTube and meditations about calm parenting, including guidance and suggestions. I am using my phone now, so I can’t look it up.

Anita