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People don't like me

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Mark 4 months ago.

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  • #153098

    Elise
    Participant

    Hello everyone, i found this site while googling for some self help. I am currently a teen in high school and i’m going through a lot of stress. I was elected as my class chair person at the start of the year and yet recently people have been saying that I am not doing a good enough job.

    The people in my tutor group want to revoke my position and have even involved the teachers. They wrote a list of my so-called “incompetence” and submitted it. They also call me “useless” and other names behind my back.

    I feel that all this was caused by me hanging out with my other friends and not constantly hanging out with the rest of the people in my tutor group. I don’t know what to do and I feel a sense of helplessness. Should I just let things be and give up or should I try to improve the situation? How can I improve the situation. Please help me 🙁

    #153166

    Jennifer
    Participant

    Hi @elise,

    High school can be a very difficult time especially taking on a class position. I once was President for my sorority and a lot of my sisters at the beginning didn’t believe I was doing a good job and had spoken down to me a lot. It’s frustrating and hurtful because that’s not what you want to hear but in a way you need to realize that your group feels a certain way for a reason and you need to figure out why. At the end of my

    At the end of my year, I was rewarded the Presidential Excellence because I worked so hard to prove my worth and it all paid off. It was not easy to gain my house’s trust back but I started by trying to talk to them in a mature manner. I accepted that I made mistakes that caused a lot of problems for the house and I was willing to accept my mistakes and work hard to try and fix them. A lot of my sisters respected me for that and it helps to know the truth and why but also be mature enough to resolve things and not let those negative statements affect you.

    You have to be the bigger person and be honest with your group. Have they told you why they thought those things about you? Have you asked them what is it that they need from you as chair person? Do not be let down by this but instead feel more empower to do something and make things right again. If they believe you’re not doing your job as they think you should then you need to figure out why. If you are doing everything you can and have been working hard as chair person then you need to show them and let them know “Hey I’m going through a lot of stress and I would really appreciate if you all can let me know if I’m doing anything wrong because I’m actually working hard and (start listing all the things you have done).” Do it in a way where they can see your point of view but also be open up to their views of your work ethic as well.

    Once you figure out the honest truth on why they are treating you like that, then it’ll make it easier to resolve your situation. Now if they are just plain out mean and don’t like you for unecessary reasons then you do need to stay strong and let a teacher know that you need help. At least a teacher will be willing to help and guide you out and try to mend any conflicts. But I would first try to resolve the situation with your group and seek the truth.

     

     

    #153206

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Elise:

    Reads like the tutor group ganged up against you, a united front. This may be very difficult for you to change. They may be set in their minds, invested in what they already started (the list they submitted), and unwilling to change no matter what you say and do.

    There will always be people who do not like other people. No one is liked by everyone all of the time.

    And no one likes to be disliked. We just have to live with the reality that some people do not and will not like us.

    You know how some people don’t like broccoli since they were children, and stay away from it their whole lives, not giving it another chance? Similar with disliking people. If they refuse to listen to you, they may be set in their minds. Better give up trying to make them like you and associate with people you like and who like you.

    (Some people do not like the very people who dislike you… we are all in the same boat in this regard).

    anita

    #153208

    Mark
    Participant

    Hi Elise,

    That’s good advice about asking the group what about your performance they don’t like and how you can do better. If they are being mean, I would just quit. I know the position seems important now, but it probably won’t make much a difference on any opportunities in your future.

    Something that may help you: I don’t talk to anyone from my high school anymore. I wasted countless hours in high school worrying about what people thought about me. It made me sort of miserable. And now I barely even remember them.

    High school is an important time to realize who you are, but you are surrounded by so many other teenagers who are confused about who they are. Some of them are probably very mean and feel better about themselves when other people feel bad. Try to stay away from those people. Being popular or well-liked is overrated. Even more important is that you like yourself.

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