Dear helcat,

Well all we do while we are dating is only having dinner or desserts… She’s also not a person with hobbies, so on her free time she usually watches movies at her home or hanging out at a cafe with her friends…

The only activity i did is going to the gym after my office hours…

As for the ideas for valentine day,

Yes i’ve planned for it… I’m planning to have a dinner with her, and i would like to give her a gift… but she doesnt seem enthusiast in looking forward for that day…. Idk what more i should do…. Well she knows that i’m planning to invite her for dinner that day, and she said yes… but she doesnt know that i will give her a gift…

3 days before the valentine day i also plan to watch a standup comedy show with her, and she doesnt seem enthusiastic…. She even said that if she cant come, its okay if i went to watch that with my sister… then i persuade her, and in the end she said yes….
I’ve done my best for her, but she still act this way…

I’m also okay with her replying late, as i dont want to give her pressure…. Idk what more i should do…

So for the meditation, i should do it daily? Like spare some time for it?

Dear helcat,

Do u think if i give her a handbag and a bracelet is a bit too much for a gift?

Also on that day i plan to post about our relationship on social media, but i dont know if it’ll be the right decision?…. Because i might gain lots of anxiety, because people will talk about me…. And they might judge me, im worried it might trigger my insecurities like my small family, my appearance, etc….

Sometimes i want to post about our relationship on social media, but i keep thinking about my anxiety…. I keep taking everything safely if i dont post on social media, because it doesnt attract gossips…. And gossips could cause misunderstanding in relationships…..

And also waiting for 2 weeks feels very long and i keep getting anxious

Dear helcat,

I ended up buying both handbag and bracelet, i have reasons why i buy this much for her….

I also plan to buy flowers for her and reserve a fine dining at a hotel….

I buy both handbag and bracelet, because i want to show her im financially capable for her…. because i’ve went to her house and her house is bigger than mine…..

Actually (it’s not me being arrogant or something like that) i’m pretty sure my family is financially more capable than what it looks like of our house…. Our house is located in our own complex with other houses…. but the size is small….. My parents doesnt plan to move out till i’m married…. They’ve prepared a land to build a new home (much more larger than our house now) if i’m married later on and we might move there…..

I havent invite her to my house because i dont want her to look at me as not financially capable, that’s why i wanna show her i can provide her a handbag and bracelet, so she’s sure of my financial…..

Then after that, i plan to arrange a date to invite her to my house, i also plan to tell her that this our own housing complex with 51 houses and our house is one of them…, so that she wont look at me as “low” because my house is smaller than hers….

This is a valid reason, dont u think?

Because some people underestimated me due to my house, but actually im pretty sure financially im above them…. it’s just that my parents havent plan to build the “big house” soon….. This is why i dont want her to underestimate me…

You said that your partner uses social media. Does she have her relationship status on her account? If not you might want to have a conversation with her before making changes.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to tell friends. It’s not like your relationship is a secret. I’m sure they’d want you to be happy.

Or is it a secret? Why are you hiding it? Haven’t got around to announcing it yet? Is it because of anxiety? Or because you were asked to?

No there is no relationship status in her social media…. Because i told her we shouldnt post our relationship first… And she told me it’s okay take ur time….

But right now i feel i wanna post it, because its taking too long for me to show to public….

At first i’m afraid that if i post about her…. The people who interact with her might comment badly about my appearance and etc, also my friends might comment too about me being in a relationship…. I’m also afraid that boys who dont know her existence, now that i’ve post her, they’ll notice her and i dont want those boys to look at her…..

Also i’m afraid there might be people who arent happy for my relationship, and they might want to talk badly about me which could cause her to lose interest in me….

I’m also afraid my anxiety might came due to several reasons due to posting about it…..

But if i think about it, i already met her parents and she has met my parents….. Even having chinese new year dinner together with my family and her family…. I think it’s already a good reason to post it on social media…. I just hope it wont be a wrong decision….

Also there is a new problem,

This saturday that girl and 2 of her friends (both are girls) are going on a staycation in a villa…

And she might post pretty pictures of her on her instagram post and stories

I fear that boys might get attracted to her if they saw her post, because both of us havent show our relationship to public, so other boys might think that she’s still single….

This is giving me anxiety, before both of us watch the standup comedy show and valentines dinner, i have to get past this first….

I’m planning to post our relationship on the standup comedy show or on valentines, but she’s going on a staycation right before those 2 events, i’m really worried right now….. but i cant forbid her to have staycation with her friends….

I hope i can stay strong and get past this obstacle….. I dont want suddenly a boy texted her because he got attracted to her staycation post…..

This is really giving me anxiety, i might think about this all the time until she finishes her staycation…. It’s on saturday till sunday (1 night). I’m so so worried right now….