Hi all

I am new to the forum section of Tiny Buddha.

I was recently ‘dumped’ a month ago by my partner of 8 months (we lived together for majority of the relationship). During the last month or so of the relationship, I was in a very bad place. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety, I had zero self-esteem, I had panic attacks, some afternoons I was bed ridden. I was in horrible shape. I was not the person that my partner had fell in love with at the beginning of the relationship. I was in a really bad place.

I stupidly gave up my own social engagements, friendships and life to be with him. This resulted in me having zero self-esteem, I forgot to love myself. I lived vicariously through him and his social life. That was not his doing, it was mine. He never pressured me to that. It was my first real relationship and I made those mistakes. He was loving and caring, up until he left. With good reason, I was not the person he fell in love with.

Our brake up was my rock bottom. Since then I have begun to love myself. I have begun to see my value and how amazing I am. I feel like I am back to my old self. And I am still in love with him. I miss him, not the idea of having a partner. I miss his quirks, his love, his stories, his conversations, everything!

I really want him back. He wants to keep in contact as friends (and we have been), however he has said that seeing me after the break up that I was back to being the guy he feel in love with, the guy that was excited by life.

If he fell in love with me before, and if he recognised that I am that person again, then why can’t it happen again? I want it to happen naturally. I am not going to beg or ask him to get back together with me (I’m too good for that). We plan on spending time with each other (as friends), however I am doing that in the hopes of us getting back together.

At the moment I’m trying to stay positive about us getting back together, but should I? Could I potentially be setting myself up for misery? Should I have the positive mentality of: ‘yes we will get back together’. Positive things happen to those with a positive mindset. Should I have the ‘we are going to get back together’ mindset’?

Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

Mucho love
Xx