First, sorry about the length of this but I feel I need share the relationship dilemma that I am going through, in the hope that someone out there can shed some light, their experience and opinions. I understand that no one can tell me what to do, as it comes down to me making the choice in the end, but I hope that by sharing I can receive some advice that hopefully might make me confident in what to do.

I’ll start by saying I’m around 29 and have never been in a serious relationship before (due to previous confidence issues and shyness which I won’t go into here).
So I met a girl through an online dating site and we began chatting through instant messaging. She is about the same age as me but lives in another city, a 5 hour plane flight from me. We spoke most days, though very short texts, through fcebook for about 5 months, this then progressed to weekly 45 min Skype calls. Several months later I decided to fly over there and meet her. We spent 4 days together, it became intimate the first night I was there. Conversation seemed a strained and many silences were present. Anyway things weren’t all that bad, and we were clearly attracted to eachother, though I never felt the “she is the one for me, my true love” movie-esque feeling.

We continued to Skype, she then came to visit me a month and a half later. Unfortunately she was sick most of the time and that caused massive frustration for me, I never showed this but continued to be caring and understanding to her. This made me feel like I wanted to end it and it had no chance, but I felt I should maybe give it another chance

We had a chat about our feelings, hers were very strong towards me, I was confused and unsure. So we decided to give one last shot, so we met for 5 days in a neutral city. I enjoyed myself the most I have with her but still found some underlying issues.
The negative:
She is a very introverted/shy person, so not sure whether to put some of these down to that but;
I found there still seemed to be some awkward silence between us, especially in an environment where lack of small talk is noticed, eg, dinner, at a bar, etc. She has a few trust issues, she’s very indecisive and I feel she doesn’t challenge me. Despite me thinking she is one of the most beautiful girls I’ve known, I was somewhat not attracted to her body (she’s very skinny) and I know this sounds shallow but I just wasn’t and for reason I seemed to be avoiding to kiss her if I could avoid it. When I was with her I couldn’t help but feel like I wanted something more, someone more outgoing.

Some positive:
She’s sweet, caring, pure soul and I find her beautiful. She feels very deeply towards me. She is quite affectionate and when I’m with her I feel like I am the most special guy around, she makes feel like I am this interesting, handsome, funny, amazing guy and I love how that makes me feel.

We both understand for this to work one of us have to make a commitment to move cities, probably her to me due to job opportunities, and I find the pressure of this immense!

After our trip we skyped, I told her my doubts, how I felt, how I was very confused and wasn’t sure if this work. She wanted a firm commitment that I wanted this too work and felt it could, but I couldn’t give this to her. She started to cry and hung up. I haven’t spoken to her since. But straight after, I felt such regret! Instead of all the bad things I thought about all good and potential good times. That maybe I could put in more effort, show more interest in her hobbies and make it work. I’d become more attracted to her over time?

But one thing that keeps running through my head, is is there someone better suited to me out there? I have nothing to work with nor dated other girls because she has been my first serious ‘love’. Coincidentally I have one or 2 people trying to set me up with other girls.

I feel like I clearly have some feelings for here otherwise this decision wouldn’t be so hard!!

My gut is pulling me in all directions and my thoughts on whether to give this one last go or move on and try date other girls. She is an amazing person but I still have my doubts. Is this normal? Are my exceptions too high? Love is not like the movies, falling madly in love with love at first site.

Should I give it one more go? Should I move on and cut all ties with her? Should I try remain friends with her (though she has said before she doesn’t do friends with ex’s). Should I date other girls and if a few months down the line I still have feelings for her try again (and hope she is still single and willing to take me back)?

Anything that could help me shed some light on this would be truly appreciated. I am in a world of confusion!