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Problems with my mindset and my need for a one word mantra

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  • #52163
    Taj
    Participant

    So, I’m not really comfortable asking people online for advice. In fact, I feel fairly vulnerable approaching you guys right now. But I’m in a real pickle, and I could use some guidance.

    The worst parts of being me, in my opinion, are two things

    1) I constantly feel like I have to play a game in order to succeed in my relationships, my education, and my life in general. I have to abide by a certain set of rules and regulations where, if broken, plunge me into this abyss of separation or distance.

    2) When people recognize I have potential, it scares me. It scares me not because I don’t think I deserve it, but because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live up to what I can be. in addition, when it comes to people, I never feel good enough for everyone. This could be me overanalyzing everyones interaction with me, but I feel like people don’t like me.I can never seem to focus on anything, I never feel good enough for people in general, and sometimes I wish I lived independently from everything

    3) the most important issue with me is how to think and approach life. I have a hard time explaining this to friends or family, but pretty much I don’t know what I should be thinking in a given situation. Hinduism says live in the moment, other. Sources say plan for the future, and more say learn from the past. I’m confused as to how to live my life.

    Overall, I just want to be happy and successful. Happy with how things are going, and success in my life and relationships so that other may benefit from my endeavors as well

    Basically, could you find just one word, one word that I, a person who’s lost his way, can focus on and say to myself throughout the day in order to lead a more fulfilling life?

    Thank you so much for listening, this stills feels weird and I feel super vulnerable, but I thank you for listening

    #52248
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    I’d personally take words away from you, not give you more πŸ™‚ Perhaps you do analyze too much. You think about how to think. You say that you feel vulnerable, but I personally do not see that in your writing. Is your ego attached to your intellectual skills? Do you spend a lot of time thinking about abstract things?

    I may be completely wrong, but if you use your intellect and words as your main tool in life, then you would need to be more centered, more grounded, more in touch with your physical body. To feel as well and not just think.

    You can only live in this moment, but you can learn from the past and plan for the future. You just need balance and be aware of the tricks your mind may play. We don’t experience things exactly as they are, due to our limitations. We can also twist the events in our minds. This is especially problematic with a person who thinks a lot. They may rely solely on their analytical skills, and don’t give enough credit to gut feeling. That creates a very volatile world.

    Try to be more comfortable with just feeling things and not thinking them. Observe with your senses, but don’t try to make sense of what you are observing. No narrative, just observing. Does that make any sense?

    #52251
    Taj
    Participant

    Thank you Ruminant for your response,

    Are you saying instead of focusing my thought on one mantra, to just let my thought go and sort of breathe in the moment and work with a clear, blank mind?

    #52252
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    Mantra might work for you, I don’t know. I’m not knowledgeable of different meditation techniques either. I’m saying that in order to think you need words and if you take away all words, you have to focus on just being a living being and not pay so much attention to how to live. You are overcomplicating things, so it might do you good to go to the completely different direction for a moment and just exist. It’s difficult at first but practice helps. Look around you and acknowledge what you see, but don’t think about it. You don’t need a narrative all the time to explain to you what is going on. You don’t have to understand everything.

    That is not even meant to be a permanent state or how one “should live”. I’m suggesting that so that you could find solace in silence and to bring balance into a state of being that has been overcomplicated.

    #52276
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Thanks Ruminant πŸ™‚ Couldnt agree more.

    Hi Taj

    if you are still looking for a word then OmShanti (peace) comes to mind. Check out BK Shivani on youtube for some awesome answers to life’s and personal dilemmas. Excellent young and vibrant spiritual leader and does not follow any religion / race. There is no scope for confusion with her teachings or wisdom. Even teaches you how to meditate in a simple manner.

    Cheers

    J

    #52277
    Taj
    Participant

    Thank you so much jasmine πŸ™‚ I will most definitely check her out!

    #52362
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hi Taj

    If her teachings help you, will you let us know in the future !

    J

    #52795
    Anna
    Participant

    Hi Taj,

    I think you know the answers to all your questions. If I answer them with more questions, maybe that will help you?…

    <cite> @mrmahal said:</cite>
    2) When people recognize I have potential, it scares me. It scares me not because I don’t think I deserve it, but because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live up to what I can be. in addition, when it comes to people, I never feel good enough for everyone. This could be me overanalyzing everyones interaction with me, but I feel like people don’t like me.I can never seem to focus on anything, I never feel good enough for people in general, and sometimes I wish I lived independently from everything

    Are you good enough for you? Do you think you can live up to your own expectations?

    <cite> @mrmahal said:</cite>
    3) the most important issue with me is how to think and approach life. I have a hard time explaining this to friends or family, but pretty much I don’t know what I should be thinking in a given situation. Hinduism says live in the moment, other. Sources say plan for the future, and more say learn from the past. I’m confused as to how to live my life.

    Forgetting other teachings, how would you like to live your life?

    <cite> @mrmahal said:</cite>
    Overall, I just want to be happy and successful. Happy with how things are going, and success in my life and relationships so that other may benefit from my endeavors as well

    Are you happy and successful? How will you do this or continue doing this?

    <cite> @mrmahal said:</cite>
    Basically, could you find just one word, one word that I, a person who’s lost his way, can focus on and say to myself throughout the day in order to lead a more fulfilling life?

    Do you need one word from someone else? What is life to you?

    If you really do need one word, what is a word that you might give to a friend who has lost their way, that they can focus on and say to themselves throughout the day to remind them to lead a fulfilling life?

    πŸ™‚

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