Ready to give up.

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    It seems that no matter what I do I just can’t win. My life is a continuous mess that seems to get bigger and harder everyday. For as long as I can remember I’ve always been someone’s second choice or the person no one cared to listen to. I’d try being persistent but was then deamd as annoying. So I stopped speaking.
    I did the wrong thing by opening up to someone close to me about my neglected emotions and ended up being hurt twice as bad from them. Now, I have this fear of opening up. I can’t handle commitment because there’s always this fear that someone’s going to let me down. I’ve stopped challenging myself, my passions seem like distant memories, and now I’ve become bitter. My bitterness has given me a deep hatred for the opposite sex, anger, and so much regret about my life that I feel like it makes no sense to continue on. I seek help but financially cannot receive it, even so my family deeply dissaproves of it.
    My life has been miserable for as long as I can remember. It seems it’s only going to get worse. I truly want to hang on and try to find some common ground with what I’m feeling but everyday seems to be more and more painful.
    I’d really like your opinion because I don’t know what to do with myself.

    Big blue

    Hi Kennisha,

    One thing that helped me when I was really down was to name something or someone that I’m grateful for. It could be having a bed and a place to stay, a good meal, a book, sunshine, dogs, a smile from a stranger…. Or maybe something about me. I’m a good worker, I make a good cup of coffee, I like children, I have a good sense of humor…. In other words, name some of the good stuff in your life. There’s gotta be some good stuff. Make a list. If it’s people on the list, could you take a moment and tell them you are grateful to know them? If you have a charity that is near and dear to you then you can go help them. If you are able to help them, express gratitude to them back for letting you help them and I’ll guess they said thank you – that was thoughtful.

    You say you can’t win. Just placing in life is a podium finish. Maybe you have an interesting story to write. About the real world struggles you are having.

    Another assignment besides naming something you’re grateful for: ask people questions. Ask followup questions.

    If I may, I want to say thank you to you Kennisha for letting me share a little about me to help you.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by Big blue.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by Big blue.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by Big blue.


    I am sorry for your suffering.

    While understandable to need to vent, it must be understood that we all, in one form or another, suffer. This truth makes it difficult for us to listen to one another’s problems while we have our own to tend to. While it is not wrong to try/want to be social with others, when we are troubled and wish to share I believe it is more important to do so with those we believe are more learned than with just anyone. And, if we do not have those around us, well, as you’ve done, the internet provides a great many avenues to seek those who are. This is not to say that I am one of those more ‘learned’ individuals. In fact, I am still quite the student. However, I will try my best to share with you what my teachers have taught me.

    As I’ve mentioned, please do your best to recognize that we all suffer. When you come to realize this common relation we all share, you will find that our (negative) actions are not necessarily intentional. They are/seem only negative because it is possible we do not know any better. Understanding this will help us remove any chaotic emotions (anger, frustration, dissatisfaction, etc…) we feel towards another. Also, this will help us establish a more positive demeanor and allow us to garner more positive speech and actions. As we must feed our bodies healthy foods, we must also do the same with our minds by feeding it healthy thoughts. Being positive and optimistic does not just happen (though possible with some individuals), instead it must make use of many of our efforts.

    As for obtaining happiness, though outside factors to contribute to our well being, we must understand that our perception holds more power to how we perceive things. In the words of Abraham Lincoln, “we can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” As you can see, there are two (or more) ways of seeing things. It all depends on you. The seeds of happiness, however, remain always within us; waiting for us to poor water over them. These exist within you. You must simply apply the effort of removing all of the impurities which have concealed them.

    I hope this helps.



    You may not be able to change your life, but you can change what you think about it. I would ask ‘spirit’ for help with seeing things differently and ask spirit to change your thoughts about what you see. I know this sounds useless, but it has been the only real advice I have ever received.



    I feel your pain.

    1) please DON’T GIVE UP on Yourself !
    2) I pray that your angels guide you towards building your self-confidence and you start a new life forward from this day on. Read this short article by someone who survived a death experience: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anita-moorjani/love-yourself-first_b_3787071.html
    3) Please listen to this one song by Britt Nicole called ‘The Sun is rising’ – you can google it or here is the youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO36F–Vn1g‎

    God Bless.

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