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Rejection – what am I missing here?

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  • February 14, 2014 at 7:10 pm #51024
    Lily
    Participant

    Hi ztwilliams,

    Awh man, that is tough. So so tough. To feel connected and then have them completely disregard/disconnect completely. Im so so sorry you had to go thru that.I think because we knew so little of these people, we made them up to be something else, different to what they really are. Which is why it felt horrible when they did..perhaps..what they naturally do. When their true personality was revealed. It is sad that you had to see that but perhaps better now than later. Did you know him..I wonder the same thing about my guy too..maybe I never did and if I did, I didnt like a lot of what I saw (like you said, red flags)

    I dont think you were naive at all..I love what your friend said – to embrace the fact that you are a caring person. That is brilliant and so true! Very very few people have that ability to care and you must embrace and it and know that it is one of the things that make you so unique in this difficult, cold world.I am going to have to try and remember this myself.

    Thank you. I hope you are healing well and getting stronger and stronger.You truly showed courage and integrity by making a big, honest effort – I hope that this is the only thing you take away from this difficult experience.

    I for one, cant wait to look back at all this and feel like I made it and Im ok and that life has opened several other more wonderful doors for me. I dont want to be jaded or bruised, just happy and strong.

    Big hugs 🙂
    Lily.

    February 17, 2014 at 4:33 am #51167
    ztwilliams
    Participant

    Hi Lily,

    No…I was naïve – lol – but it’s ok. “When you look for the good in people, that’s what you’ll find.”

    I can probably count on one hand the times we saw each other face-to-face. We had contact with each other on and off for about 5 years when we were teens. Over the years I’ve kept a soft spot for him and considered him a good piece of my past – and he was. I realize now that I never really knew him – or as you said, “saw him for what he is.”

    I’m with you, I don’t want to be bitter about this because I’m not that kind of person. My mom had two sayings she liked to use, “If it’s meant to be, it will be” and “This, too, shall pass.” I think for both of our experiences, Lily, they are both fitting. On the one hand, it would be really nice to be wrong 😉 … but realistically, it’s just a life lesson that has be journeyed through.

    Since then, I’ve been more in tune with myself and the people I’m surrounded by and I’m very blessed.

    Peace and happiness to you! 🙂

    February 17, 2014 at 10:20 pm #51238
    Lily
    Participant

    Indeed, One of the things I found most helpful was gratitude – to be thankful for every little thing..including a hot cup of tea, the sunshine, a hug from a friend, smooth shaved legs..everything. Im glad you realise that you are very blessed too – I know I am.

    “This too shall pass” and indeed it will. We sadly had to learn this lesson and now we have. But new doors will open, new wonderful people will walk in (and stay!) and we will keep growing and find love, happiness and peace within ourselves.

    Here if you ever need or wish to share/need listening.

    Warmth your way,
    Lily.

    February 18, 2014 at 7:08 am #51251
    ztwilliams
    Participant

    Same goes. In the meantime, keep spreading goodness in the world.

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