I am not sure how to start this all out. First off, I am in a the best relationship with the best partner. All of my past relationships the people have cheated on me or left me for someone else. I was young and there were little signs but I chose to ignore them and trust the people I was with. I had my first death in the family almost a year ago and it was my grandmother who I was very close with. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression problems since I was little. I believe a lot of my issues in my relationship now is coming from these past events with my relationships and losing my grandmother.

Now, my current boyfriend I have is the most selfless and wonderful man I probably have ever met. He truly makes be feel like I can trust him. He has not once made me feel like I he is being shady or that I can’t trust him. He wants to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together and I truly do too.

The issue is, I cry all the time. I am mad all the time. I get stressed out over every little thing ALL THE TIME and I take it out on him. He is very patient for the most part and tries to calm me down but I don’t know what to do. I analyze everything he does. I get mad when he doesn’t do that dishes, close drawers all the way, close the toilet lid etc. A lot of little things I feel like most people can let it go and not start a huge fight over it. I just get so angry inside and get anxious over these little things. Not only that, but I will sit and just be in bad moods all the time and take it out on him and I can be so rude to him and all I do is sit and think in my head “stop treating him this way you love him so much and it is killing you to be this way” but then I can’t get myself out of the bad mood or I just feel like crying all the time.

One of my biggest issues is I never want to have sex. I am never in the mood ever. I feel so bad because I love him and I want to show him I love him but I just do not ever have the drive and if I can tell her wants to and is hinting to it I get in such a bad mood and just do not want to do it at all. But then on the inside I get so sad and just over think how I really do want to but my body doesnt seem to want to.

…….. I am not sure where I am going with this. I feel like I am rambling and there is so much more I could say. If anyone could just help me or give me advice or even say they relate to me that might help.

Thanks,

Lisa