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Relationship with self

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Inky 4 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #207121

    Lemon07
    Participant

    I have a few issues I am working on and trying to sort out for myself. I seem to always sabotage my efforts towards things I really want….or goals I want to accomplish. For instance, I really want to start a blog,  every time I scheduled a photographer to help me, I would chicken out last minute and cancel. I don’t know WHY I do this! I inevitably  regret it shortly.

    As well, I recently messaged a guy I was interested in, he wrote right back, but I was too scared to log in and reply. This weighed heavy on my heart as I knew I was sabotaging myself.

    I check in my ex’s social media accounts although he has moved on, and the pattern seems to be I don’t really love myself. Help! Any insight anyone??

     

    #207191

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Lemon07:

    You wrote: “I would chicken out last minute and cancel. I don't know WHY I do this”- because you are afraid, chicken out.

    You wrote: “he wrote right back, but I was too scared to log in and reply”, afraid.

    “I don't really love myself”, you wrote. When we are afraid we attend to the perceived danger and nothing else matters to us except for one thing: protecting ourselves from the perceived danger.

    anita

     

    #207217

    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Lemon07,

    When we are adults we don't have a safety net of parental/caring figures looking after us. It's worse when we've NEVER had that feeling of safety. I think the core issue is you need to feel safe. You are actually loving yourself by protecting yourself, misguided as it is. Even checking the ex's social media is safe because there's comfort in the habitual.

    Best,

    Inky

    #207863

    Tasha
    Participant

    Hi,

    Have you thought about being afraid of being successful (i.e. blog)?

    Also, not replying to the gentleman can be a result of not feeling worthy?

    Taking chances on yourself and not knowing the outcomes is o.k. (nothing beats a failure but a try).

    Good Luck 🙂

     

     

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