Dear Dan:
Like you wrote, your anxiety ” is adding fuel to the fire”, lowering your performance at work, the very thing you are afraid of. Remove that anxiety, and you will perform better. Easier said than done, of course, but think about it: if fear has a positive value in your situation, it would be to improve your performance at work, so accept a bit of that fear as okay and take deep breaths: the excess fear is harming you. It is not helpful.
You wrote: “have no self confidence whatsoever”- my words of encouragement: you do have some self confidence, sometimes, don’t you? Think about it and you will remember those times. Add to those times today by paying attention to what you do and when you perform well, at work or anywhere else, notice and congratulate yourself. This will improve your confidence and well-being.
You wrote that you are lonely- if you could be around people in some positive context, that will help you very much.
Post again, anytime.
anita