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scared

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  • #42661
    P lope
    Participant

    Hi
    So I am about to get divorced. I am very unhappy about it. I have known my husband for 29 years. We have been married about 6 years. Prior to that it was a very long distance relationship. He is from England and I am from the US. We dated when I was 19 and he was 20. I was visiting England when we met. I came back home and we kept in touch for 21 years through phone calls and letters. He wrote to me all the time. I thought I was marrying the man I always loved. I thought I knew him. I didn’t. Fast forward and he is actually addicted to alcohol and is always angry. I understand the things that happened to him as a child lead to his behaviors. I believed he had a good heart. He has put up so many walls around his heart that no one can get in. I tried to help him in every way I could think of … He didn’t want help. He left me to live a block away above the bar back in March. We continued to spend time together and speak but to no avail. I had asked him to move out last November in hopes that he would want to get help for his addiction. It didn’t work. He became more angry with me. He blamed me for not wanting him to go to the bar all the time. He blamed me for “making him go to therapy to talk about his family issues”. We went to therapy twice. So here I am heartbroken. I keep praying for God to open his heart to healing. I know I am probably being foolish. I don’t know what to do. I am working on improving things in my life. I am trying to let go but it hasn’t worked. I know it is out of my hands. What should I do? He filed divorce papers in July and then said he was going to withdraw them a month later. He is not legally allowed to do this. The papers need to be signed Oct. 5th. He is currenlty away for his work in Italy. He will return the end of October. I plan on signing the papers as that is what he said he wants. I haven’t heard a word from him since he left a month ago. I changed my phone number as I didn’t want him to text or call anymore because it was never for anything good. I understand he can’t call but if he really wanted to he could write to me as he used to do. I don’t know how you cut someone out of your life so harshly after 29 years. My therapist said my ex is a narcissist. UGH! Help!

    #42676
    Sapnap3
    Participant

    Scared
    I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you are in. I can’t really give you any views or suggestions but can tell you that I’ll be praying for your well being.

    When I read your words above, I can feel the love you have for this man. Its so sad that people can’t appreciate the love that is all around them. I don’t know anything about your husband and will not judge him. I will pray for his well being as well. 29 years sound like a life time to love someone. I loved someone for almost 2 years and he shattered my heart. 3 months later, I can still feel him around me.
    I really hope you see the strength that is in you and keep going. If he is meant to be with you, he will come to his senses. What you have to remember is that you deserve everything you wish for from yourself and your partner.

    Keep your head up high dear sister. Cause you have given it your all. Now you have to love yourself more than him

    With love and kindness
    S

    #42683
    Dharmesh Radadiya
    Participant

    HI P Lope,

    It’s very sad to listen but i can ask you one thing keep it in your mind for life time”Don’t respect those people who doesn’t Respect your feellings”.
    And never blamed your self for these all coz you and god is victim for your true love and feellings.I think this is not your bad luck that you are suffering from this hard moments but this is bad luck of your husband that everything is within his hand and he is unable to see that all.

    God made everyone for everyperson in this beautiful world so keep in mind that this will be your turning point of your life if you take it possitively and wait for some time bcoz i think somebody very far from you but still waiting for you k so dnt loose your hope and keep trust on god.

    This is a lesson of your life and do not blamed any one for these all not even to god B’coz if we do not face these all then we never come to know the true value of life.And i think this is very dangerous if you living with such guy who has alchoholic addiction k.It is his bad luck not yours k so concentrate on your life goals and look at life for your childrens if you have coz its happens offently when parents divorced tht child will cursed for that all.

    So Dnt worry about that all as time moves situation will be better Trust on God K God is Everywhere May be with you right now just came to open your eyes to End up your relationship with that guy who does’t respect your feellings.

    I can understand the Depth ur love and sorrows k but if i made any mistake to suggest you i am so sorry for that.

    Thanks
    Your well Wisher.
    Dharmesh Radadiya.

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