School Feels Like It's Killing Me.

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This topic has 17 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 7 months ago by Anonymous.

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October 16, 2015 at 11:15 am #85502

Daniel C.
Participant

Ok, maybe I’m being a little over dramatic, maybe not, you tell me.

My name is Daniel, and High School seems to be mentally killing me.
What do I mean by this? Well, I live an hour and a half from my school (in both directions) and it’s a very demanding school. I get home at 6, eat dinner, start homework at 6:30, and stop between 10 and 12. I get up at 6, just so you know. I have no time on the weekend to do anything other than homework because my teachers flood every weekend to the gills with assignments. (I only have one honors class, so you can imagine how stupid (or whatever synonym to stupid you like) I feel at the moment.) I rarely see my friends outside of school and I barely have any free time to do anything else (As someone who loves to DIY things together, one can imagine how this can feel). I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well (Thanks school!) but I do fairly well in school, accept for Chinese III. I just recently failed a test. (It seems I have issues with language retention) I am really having a hard time with school in terms of staying completely sane and at least twice a day I feel like I’m going to break down. All I feel that I do is homework, and again , I will say, I rarely, if not, ever, have time for personal activities. (Enough commas for you?) I also only seem to excel in things that don’t matter. What I mean by this is that when I write something personal, I have fun, I write well, and I put effort to it. Whenever its for school I see to tense up, freeze, and just stop doing anything useful. So, any suggestions someone can shoot me would be great!

October 16, 2015 at 11:22 am #85503

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Daniel C.:

As you are well aware of, your ongoing distress is working against you, not only in how you experience life but in the effectiveness of your studying, learning, probably processing information and retaining it. This distress and lack of relaxation, lack of fun is working against you, against your potential mental well being AND against your performance in school.

Got to either change schools (closer) or lower your work load significantly. I would vote for changing schools AND lowering your work load. As is- it is not working for you, but AGAINST you.

Now, what is the LOGIC of maintaining a schedule, a lifestyle that is operating against you?

anita

October 16, 2015 at 11:35 am #85504

Daniel C.
Participant

Hello Anita,

I will most likely move closer to school because that commute is killer.

I should talk to the dean and teachers about the homework load, I am for from the only person who has this issue (I can also write in the school news paper, so that works too)

The logic behind it? Mostly because I can’t really break out of it.

October 16, 2015 at 12:21 pm #85507

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Daniel C.:

It was a rhetorical question, asking for the logic behind doing what is against your mental well being AND your performance in school. There are reasons, sure, like not seeing a way to break out of it, but no logic, no objective logic.

Moving closer to school and reducing homework load- steps in the right direction! And even if you were the only one who is feeling overwhelmed (I doubt it)- well, it doesn’t matter if you are the only one- you are overwhelmed, YOU are the only one that matters in your life and in considering what to do next.

anita

October 16, 2015 at 4:07 pm #85515

Daniel C.
Participant

Dear Anita,

Sorry about not picking up on that, I’m not the best at it.

I generally try to focus on helping more than just myself because then I feel really selfish.

October 16, 2015 at 4:18 pm #85517

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Daniel C.:

Many people pay a high price for caring about others more than about themselves, trying to please others at own expense. Please be selfish if that means making yourself the first priority in your life. You are not selfish when you place yourself as number one in your life, you are healthy if you do that.

Trying to be a saint, that is putting others’ welfare in place of your own, doesn’t make you good; it makes you sick.

We are animals and animals are meant by natural selection, survival, to do what needs to be done for their own survival.

anita

October 17, 2015 at 8:47 am #85541

Daniel C.
Participant

I guess being selfish doesn’t go together with being, well, egotistical or some other nasty term like that.

I look at it this way, if I can can get my workload reduced and a better structure for my life, I will be very willing to make a case for everyone else (Because going to sleep at 2am should not be the norm)

October 17, 2015 at 9:01 am #85542

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Daniel C.:

Take care of yourself. Use your intelligence for the most important use it can possibly ever have: taking care of yourself, short term and long term.

This I believe is your personal responsibility: what you owe yourself. Regarding social responsibility, what you owe others, is to participate on your end in Win-Win interactions and relationships, where such benefit -AGAIN- YOU and the other person. Not Lose-Win or Win-Lose or most common: Lose-Lose.

anita

October 17, 2015 at 9:36 am #85551

Daniel C.
Participant

Yeah my life situation at the moment is making itr a bit of a challenge to take care of myself (Though that will soon be changing)

Yeah, hopefully it’s a win-win for me and the 500 other kids in my high school

October 17, 2015 at 1:45 pm #85562

Anonymous
Guest

Post again, Daniel C., let us know how you are doing.
anita

October 17, 2015 at 2:58 pm #85566

Daniel C.
Participant

Hello all, again! (Man, I love that word)

I am feeling a little better (though I will certainly feel worse because of something later on. Thank you GAD!) I have discussed this with my Chinese teacher and I will be re-takeing the test later on. Anyway I will also, probably, be moving up closer to my school. Lastly, I will be having a conversation with the head of school about how the homework load is just too much for most students.

Thanks for your support, and I hope you found my post to have a slight amount of humor 🙂

October 17, 2015 at 7:04 pm #85575

Anonymous
Guest

Thank you for your … slight amount of humor, I am having a slight smile on my face right this moment! And great work on taking the steps to make your life better. Here is an A++ from me.

anita

October 18, 2015 at 9:21 am #85602

Kay Losicuto
Participant

Hi Daniel, I am so glad you are asking for help! I see that you posted that you have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Does that mean you are getting therapy? I hope so, even if it feels like you can’t add one more thing to your load, counseling or therapy can help you figure out how to lighten your load. Its sort of like that old Zen saying: You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.

It seems like spending time on it would make you more frantic, but it does the opposite. Meditation helps you get balanced so you can be more efficient, and realize what you can let go of. I think therapy or counseling could do the same.

Good luck Daniel! We’re rooting for you!

October 18, 2015 at 10:40 am #85605

Daniel C.
Participant

Why thank you! It’s good to know I made someone laugh I little bit today! I’ll tell you how it goes tomorrow in an update!

October 19, 2015 at 6:48 am #85639

Daniel C.
Participant

I am getting therapy for it, thankfully, but I still need a coping mechanism that I can use when I am stressed.

Yeah, it seems the meditation is hard for me because I always try to focus on ten things at the same time.
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