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Viewing 10 posts - 181 through 190 (of 190 total)
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  • August 26, 2016 at 12:29 am #113297
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Possibly. But, with the guy playing with the kid, etc. doesn’t seem like there is a lack of interest.

    Haven’t yet found the magic of pursuit yet apparently.

    Trying to figure out how to balance things. Was working ahead for stuff two weeks out, only to have a decision by someone else stand the prioritization on its head. Now have to put that project aside and shift to another one. All of the prep work I did for next week may come to a grinding halt tomorrow because of something outside of my control. Ironically, who lives at my house is of little issue, because I am not there that much.

    I have people I know crabby at me for the massive amounts of time I have been spending at work. Seriously considering finding something else to do. But, yikes at the pay cut for many things.

    Yep, I do see some of the results of bad relationship decision making, both here and on the job. I frequently watch people get married in the courthouse and wonder how soon the divorce happens.

    August 26, 2016 at 9:38 am #113319
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear XenopusTex:

    You wrote: “who lives at my house is of little issue, because I am not there that much.” This is one of the payoffs for overworking, the payoff I mentioned in a recent post to you. That is one of the benefits.

    Regarding the pay cut if you take a job that gives you more time but less money- well, what is the use of more money if you don’t get to enjoy your own home, being there? Or otherwise, enjoy life?

    Yes, lots and lots of people are in bad relationships, more than those who are in good relationships. Absolutely.

    anita

    August 29, 2016 at 5:13 am #113585
    Michelle
    Participant

    Trying to figure it out means you are one step ahead of an awful lot of other people.

    The trick for me on work/life balance was ( and still is.. ) realising every choice has consequences, some of which I may not like and some I will, but it is still my choice at the end of the day. I likewise work in a very competitive hard-working industry so when I go the extra mile and work longer and harder than needed ( no paid overtime here! ), it’s because I choose to do so, be it because it’s a great project I’m enjoying or some ( far more irritating ) reason such as someone else’s poor planning. Once I landed that I took a huge risk and now work 4 days a week, big consequences on pay and promotion chances – do I think it was the best thing I ever did – absolutely. Do I miss the money – not as much as I love having my own time. And I’m absolutely not saying you should do the same – just that it’s a useful ‘thinking’ way to approach changing in this area of your life.

    You’ll be amazed what happens when you make space in your life for new things. Out of curiousity – what did you end up doing with your holiday time?

    August 29, 2016 at 10:55 am #113623
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Did some traveling. Wound up getting called, and wound up going in on the weekend.

    Had been sick, so didn’t put much n thread over the weekend. Will do more later.

    I really don’t think that the new gal is going to work out. Had to go do some banking at lunch and saw her with the other guy I had seen her with before.

    August 29, 2016 at 8:25 pm #113691
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Michelle, interesting. I tend to joke that I don’t even check what I make because I don’t have time to spend it. Only time it seems to matter is tax time, or when calculating what to invest.

    I had been trying to get out more and meet people. Now kind of stuck with a bunch of stuff coming up. Meeting people basically came to naught, other than seeing me get shot down.

    Had my birthday last week and still trying to figure out why people celebrate them. Was a bit of a party killer, tired, sick, irritable. To me, just a sign of being another year older, and still single.

    Perhaps part of the problem is that I am not sure I remember how to be happy anymore. Just feel worn down most of the time. Don’t sleep well, even if I take melatonin. irritable.

    Sort of internally conflicted, want a relationship, but not sure if it’s worth it. Not even sure if it is a good idea. Things that seem promising go in the tank.

    August 30, 2016 at 10:38 am #113733
    Michelle
    Participant

    hey again – glad you found it interesting, it’s certainly helped me stick to my goals when I would’ve otherwise put it in the too difficult to deal with bucket..

    So, good to hear you got out travelling but pity you got called back in – that would’ve been an excellent chance to say not me these time though. Seems you do more than your fair share of lifting and it’s not wrong to respect your own time. Helps others respect your boundaries and shows you value yourself.

    I do get it feels like a relationship will help bring happiness into your life but honestly, all the best relationships start when you are already happy with your life/yourself. Doesn’t mean stop hoping or practising social/emotional connections in the meantime but I do think you can help your chances by working on areas within your control first. It’ll help with not being so disappointed each time something doesn’t work out and increases your natural resilience to bounce back and try again. The trick is to start small – you wouldn’t try and win a case without putting in all the prep hours right….

    September 4, 2016 at 10:49 pm #114258
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Wow, been a while. You are right, do have to put in the time. Been getting swamped and trying to dig out. Have two really complex cases queued up before I leave town for a bit.

    So far,0 for 2 on the relationship front.

    September 5, 2016 at 10:44 am #114298
    Michelle
    Participant

    Hey. Figured you’d got swamped – likewise hectic but I use my commute time ( I choose to live over 2hrs from work, worth it but long irrelevant story… ) to catch up on here as ‘me’ time. Guessing you sensibly live closer to work!

    So – next curious question – ignoring when you’ve been sick as most things tend to be cra@@y then – when was the last social thing you enjoyed – just enjoyed, male, female,group whatever, i.e. not wondering if it would lead anywhere with a relationship?? I ask just as you don’t mention any positive interactions in your posts and they’re good practice for building on.

    Heading out of town for a bit might be a good chance to do something different and look after yourself, sleep, exercise, feel better..

    September 8, 2016 at 11:06 am #114633
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Will see how the trip turns out.

    September 9, 2016 at 5:03 am #114709
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    I am sorry for not keeping up with this better. Got hit with some massive projects. Used to have time to better examine these issues, now finding that I have less and less time. Haven’t gotten out any last couple of weeks. Trying not to fall back into work being 100% of everything, while getting tasked with more stuff.

    Have realized how wrong I have been about relationships, etc. getting hit with massive amounts of anxiety and depression over the whole thing.

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