Hi Mona

Its important to distinguish the difference between Self care and Self comfort. More often then not we choose the latter, comfort. And by comfort a means to avoid anything that might causes us anxiety, uncertainty or taking a chance.

How to get out of this? Be honest with yourself.  Stop when you notice your telling yourself a story, that others don’t like you…. Ask yourself if this a excuse to stop yourself from engaging. Dos the thought of engaging leave you feeling uncomfortable? Is that self care or self comfort?

Your not alone. Speaking for myself I tend towards self comfort, comfort being avoidance of social situations that I fear will overwhelm me. I tell myself I’m not good enough, will mess things up, they won’t like me. But its all a excuse not to engage and remain as I am. Self comfort can easily becomes self abuse and not comfortable at all.

Self care is being honest and trusting oneself, its having healthy boundaries. Others will be attracted by that.