"Self-Care is not Selfish"

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    Angela Marchesani

    The above quote came to me in an email from my yoga studio this morning.

    As a single parent, the edict to “take care of yourself” feels impossible at times.

    And yet it’s essential. We can’t attend to the needs of our kids without meeting our own needs first.

    In what ways do you already take good care of yourself?

    What would you like to do differently so that you feel healthier and happier and stronger as a parent?


    If PARENTING is a gift then TIMING is the essence…

    As a singled Papa, I have learned long ago that parenting is important and a lifetime gift.

    Take time to:

    …  appreciate the precious of shortnapping when and wherever possible

    … everyday, I do many simple things that makes me happy, be thankful and accept my many imperfection

    The day my daughter was born, life has changed forever.  Along the way, I learn to accept all the things life has to offer…

    Lisa Humphries

    Thank you Angela for the reminder, as a single parent myself I am very much committed to self care so that I can be the best Mother for my precious little soul, who is 3 years old.

    Also I believe in leading by example and nurturing a generation that is aware of the benefits of self care, and knowing that this is not selfish. At times it seems like I am doing a million things at once and not doing them particularly well, self care is also the ability to be kind to ourselves with our thoughts, our words and our actions.

    My son does spend quite a lot of time with his Dad so I am blessed with the gift of time and the opportunity to turn that precious time into self care. I am very careful to select only activities that nourish my soul during that time, and I have become very good at saying NO and only spending time with the people who nourish my soul.

    Buddhist Wife

    I agree with what Lisa Humphries says, we do need to set the example to our children of looking after ourselves.

    For me it’s having a bath or playing a computer game when I get time.


    That’s a really good point. I don’t want my child letting himself get run down, overextending himself, neglecting his needs. Thinking of it as setting an example is very helpful.


    I asked the most beautiful woman in the world one time.. I just wanted to know her response because most everything about her was amazing

    Me; “Who do you love more, you or your children?”

    Her; “Why myself of course.”

    Me; “Huh 😀 :D?”

    Her; “I am their strength”


    The wonderful old man in the park .. approximately 75 years old..

    I told him

    >”Some people think self love sounds selfish”
    In a kind loving grandfatherly old voice he replies
    >>”Why, it’s the most selfless thing a person can do”

    NEXT TOPIC.. “Self Compassion”


    Now I am enlightened… This topic change my perspective.People always think that loving yourself first is selfishness. And I believed it. Analyzing this point now made me realize that what majorities view is not always the right one.


    Thank you all coz I was really scared to even think how to be a single parent.. But now I know there are many and have been managing well too..



    Thank you for the reminder! I have found that it’s important to remember that we are all a part of humanity. There is no “us” and “others.” That’s a ridiculous way to split people into groups! We’re not alone in a group of one.

    This past winter was one of the darkest times I had ever faced. I needed to spend a lot of time taking care of myself, and soul-searching. I had to examine my deepest held beliefs about myself, and about life. (I had been in an abusive friendship as a teenager, and was still spending most of my waking hours beating up on myself. These beliefs and thoughts led to me spending 10 years in a very unhappy work situation, which was slowly destroying me. Things really came to a head in January, as my situation worsened). I used to feel really bad, because I didn’t give my daughter (who has autism) very much attention during this time. In fact, I didn’t pay much attention to my husband either.

    But, I’ve realized that the priority at that time was that I was OK. If I had stayed in that situation, especially with the negative thought patterns, I don’t believe that I would have survived. I needed to give myself all of my energy at that time, and I needed to seek support. Neglecting my family, for myself, at that time was not selfish. They needed me to be all right, and to lead them into the changes that we ultimately made. (I quit my job, we signed the house over to the bank, and took the few possessions we kept, 1200 miles south, to start a new life in the city).


    I was called selfish by my family when I realized that I needed to make some lifestyle changes, I focused on losing weight (71 pounds to date) and quitting smoking. I think they were just upset that I didn’t drop everything and tended to their every need when I was on the treadmill. Interestingly enough though, they only always “needed” me when I was busy….. My ex often sabotaged my previous efforts to lose weight by bringing home cakes and cookies, his response to my complaint was that I didn’t have to eat it.
    It’s like putting a “fix” in front of a junkie and saying: “You don’t have to inject it” sure it’s a choice, but why make it harder for the one you are suppose to love and care for?
    Wow, sorry, I just went off subject 🙁


    spent some time for ur self like hobbydo thing which u like most .u can also spend time with ur children and enjoy doing thing together. take care of ur financial resources .make plannd take decision .be assertive and polite

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