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MJ

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  • #42349

    MJ
    Participant

    hello everyone,
    I’ve read the topic and I was like, ” oh,just a timing on what I feels”..
    so i decided to write my own miseries on this thread.
    All my life I preferred to be alone because I want to be alone but as the saying goes no man is an island, I have to deal with people around me.So I tried to change myself as I’m growing old and now that I’d grown older, I realize that I don’t like what I’m doing, because no matter how I reach out on people, I still feel alone…I feel so alone its killing me. plus they only added burdens to my life. yeah, I’m dealing with so many negative thoughts and emotions. I don’t know where to start or how to start to make myself better, I’m tired of trying and fighting for what I wanted to be, and still I’m here, i feel I’m a nobody. Many times I’d asked myself whats the use of living if I can’t live the way I want? The truth is I’m weak, vulnerable. I just want someone to listen and understand. Someone to believe in me.. I tried my best to reach out on other, that’s why I got married at a young age, thinking that someone , at last, will be there for me. but as the time goes by, I realized I shoudn’t have tried to change myself, maybe I’m living a much better life now… realized that, nobody will really can understand you but you and yourself only.. I also have a low self-esteem that’s why I tend to lean on other’s support. what will happen if that someone you thought that can help you, can’t? Many times i feel so emotionally drained, I’m always struggling to reach my dream, i want a self-improvement but every time I fight its like I’m fighting alone and really hard.. I am so complicated, I want to be alone but the truth is I need someone to be there for me. Did anyone knows this feeling too?

    #40760

    MJ
    Participant

    It’s a broad topic if you ask about the meaning of life. But I guess almost everyone are asking themselves about it, ” what’s life,what’s your purpose”.
    And as for me, life for me is a journey, an adventure. it sounds cheesy/corny but I’ve decided that it is what I want ‘life’ means to me.
    As the saying goes life is what we make it. I think everyone has their own meaning about life. You just have to choose your philosophy and live with it so you won’t feel that you are lost… or that you don’t know what is “life” means for you. I asked a friend the same question , and she said she don’t know. and then I ask her if she feels lost and she said yes and also she feels boring about her life. Thinking about it I can say that if one can’t define what’s the meaning of life for them, they will feel that they’re not really living their life. oftentimes they say that they want to find themselves, etc.., but isn’t it that its more possible to create yourself or what you wanna be or who you really are than finding and searching for yourself that you don’t know where to start?
    Well, this is only my idea. 🙂 . . Thanks for providing the topic. 🙂
    – MJ

    #40758

    MJ
    Participant

    Hannah,
    I’m not good in making advice but I know / understand what you are going through.
    Sometimes we want to change ourselves for the better but we are just lacking of motivation. that’s why everytime we want to start we feel bored about it.
    Have you had any dream of what you wanna be someday? Or have you think of what will make you feel fulfilled/ satisfied?
    Maybe meditation would help? I dunno honestly i don’t know how a proper meditation is. But I think anyone here like Matt could help you.
    Every time I get downed by my bad habits, I try to analyze myself and plan about my future. But based on my experience, Laziness is the worst habit that’s hard to break. Why? Because with just thinking that you wanna break it ,you already feel lazy to do it. bcoz its ‘laziness’.
    Hope you can relate to what I’m saying. 🙂 I’m not a native English speaker but i hope I gave my idea to your understanding. If you had find out how to break those bad habits please let me know too. 🙂 i’ll be grateful.
    wanna share this quote to you : “always seek room for self-improvement”. I always keep reminding myself with this. 🙂
    Yours,
    MJ

    #40742

    MJ
    Participant

    Now I am enlightened… This topic change my perspective.People always think that loving yourself first is selfishness. And I believed it. Analyzing this point now made me realize that what majorities view is not always the right one.

    #40696

    MJ
    Participant

    Matt,
    Thanks for sharing your ideas. I’ll try to read that book,but i don’t know if that’s available here in our country.
    Christians here are fanatic, they also believed in so many saints etc.. I’m not condemning them for it, Christianity is part of our culture that’s why thinking that i have a different view makes me feel that I’m abandoning my nationality. As you know talking about beliefs sometimes or most of the times bring conflicts, I have kept it within myself for a long time and , i’m just hoping that there’s people I can reach who have the same views as mine and i found this site. it was helpful. thanks a lot. I’m hoping and looking forward for more posts of wisdom that’s not biased by religion but by experiences of people who knows how it is to be a ‘human’..
    I’m grateful,
    MJ

    #40670

    MJ
    Participant

    thanks for sharing Bevan Suits…I’ll surely watch these. 🙂

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)