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  • February 23, 2025 at 10:25 am #443162
    DREW
    Participant

    I recognize none of you may be experts in appropriate fields, but I hope one of you will have met this issue and overcome it somehow.
    I currently don’t have full of my own actions, in two senses:

    1. A few years ago I was temporarily prescribed a medicine by a specialist, and while on it a problem began which persists even now – I continually find myself vocalizing my own thoughts (unintentionally), mostly noticing sometime through doing so, but also after I’ve finished saying them aloud!
    I know this may sound unbelievable, but believe me – it’s possible, and it happens!
    Think of it: how often have you started scratching an itch BEFORE you’re aware that you’re doing so?
    And it doesn’t just happen in my house where no-one sees it, it’s happened while I’m out walking!
    Needless to say, it has to stop!
    I don’t want folk hearing my innermost thoughts: what if I got a job and a colleague told me something in confidence, then another colleague heard me unknowingly muttering it aloud?
    And I don’t want folk thinking I’m crazy!
    My GPs have no answer, and the specialist said he’d never heard of such a thing (and I’ve been off that pill a few years now).

    2. This one is lifelong: something will happen to me, and I can’t / don’t respond in the way I want to. E.g. a person will ask me something, say something to me, or DO something to me, and instead of responding in a way I’d like, I just react, often in a way I’d prefer not to. I’ll either have done it before I know it, or find myself in the process of doing it and feel it’s too late to stop. Either way, I always regret it – especially if the other person gives me a hard time over it.
    Or it may not even be a person: an event may occur that upsets me, and I’ll hit something in frustration – which I don’t want to do, as above all I don’t want to be injured, nor do I want to damage things.
    Once, a rather impatient optician gave me instructions during an exam, and as I wasn’t getting it right – and was taking too long for her – she took my hand and placed it where it was supposed to go!
    Luckily for her, I was in a good mood, and was so amazed by what happened, that I just laughed!
    But I could have snatched my hand free, rebuked her for doing taking a liberty, and – strictly speaking – what she did could constitute an assault. Certainly she’d no right to do it.
    And later on when I recalled it, I felt very angry at her, and very bad about myself being unable to handle it better.
    What I WANT to do in all such situations is be fully aware of what’s going on, be fully aware of what I’m doing, and RESPOND in a deliberate, controlled, assertive way; and ideally be calm too.
    Have any of you managed this?
    If so, how?
    If not – PLEASE DON’T RESPOND!
    I don’t want any well-meaning people who THINK they not what will or may help; if you haven’t actually overcome this yourself, please don’t reply!
    I know from much experience of that, that it’s useless, and will only add to my frustration!
    Please resist any such temptation!
    Oh, and mindfulness HASN’T helped.
    Thanks for reading this.

    February 23, 2025 at 1:09 pm #443173
    Alessa
    Participant

    Hi Drew

    I’m sorry to hear that a medication caused you to speak your thoughts out loud. That is upsetting when it didn’t used to happen before. Does it happen often?

    If you don’t mind me asking what was the name of the medication that caused the issue?

    I’ve quite often experienced doctors not learning about the side effects of medications. It is entirely possible that it could be a rare side effect depending on the kind of medication.

    They may also not be concerned because thinking out loud is a rather common behaviour. Certainly, it isn’t something that means anyone is crazy. I’m a thinker out loud too. I don’t really mind it though. When it came to a job that involved confidential information and working openly in the public I just practiced muttering to myself without the noise to avoid any issues. Humming a tune is also something I did instead. The internet recommends chewing gum.

    It sounds like you handled the situation with the optician well, you were just a bit surprised. It is common for people to not respond in a usual way when they are surprised. I don’t think it’s necessarily a problem that they tried to help you, but they could have asked if it was okay first.

    I can understand why you would want to manage your emotional responses when it comes to hitting things though. The easiest way would probably to pay attention to your mood and disengage from whatever situation is upsetting or making you angry before it gets to the point where you start to hit things.

    Do you have any difficulties with sleep at all?

    One of the most helpful things for impulse control is to sleep well. It might sound silly but research shows that being tired is just like being drunk, which also negatively affects impulse control.

    The times when I struggle most with impulse control are when I haven’t been sleeping well.

    Of course, managing stress is important too. People often act out of character when they’re stressed, as opposed to when they are feeling calm and relaxed.

    I found the supplement L-theanine helpful for impulse control. It is an extract of green tea and promotes a calm focus (I was also having trouble concentrating at the time). Anti-depressants can also be helpful too. I understand if you are feeling unsure about taking medication after that experience you had though.

    Beta blockers have also helped me to manage my emotions when things are really tough. It’s not a mental health drug. Just a blood pressure medicine.

    When it comes to situations that you are aware of in advance, considering how you would like to act before you are in that situation could be helpful. Or if you are placed in an awkward situation and need some time to consider how to respond, excusing yourself and going to the bathroom so you can collect yourself can be helpful.

    Splashing cold water on my face, massaging my neck and back of the head, yawning repeatedly are all things that science shows calm down the nervous system.

    I wish you good luck with figuring these things out!

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