Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Self-improvement quote that trips the BS detector
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Peter.
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January 14, 2017 at 9:36 pm #125281
XenopusTexParticipantI was doing some reading and came across the following quote:
The calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others; and they, in turn, reverence his spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of him and rely upon him. The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. – James Allen
I have seen both calm and non-calm people that you couldn’t rely upon to do anything. Also, those who are too adapting tend to be those who you cannot rely upon. It’s sort of like trying to nail jello to the wall.
January 15, 2017 at 8:43 am #125294
AnonymousGuestDear XeopusTex:
* I can’t answer you on the other thread where you mentioned me because I only respond to the OP on any one thread, and not to respondents. But since you started your own on the same day, I will attend to it here. You wrote there: “Anita, hmmm… maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong when I’ve left dinner location up to potential dates. Why would it come across as “dependent” on somebody to ask them about where to eat? I’m a bit confused by your recommendation”-
I will try to clarify: the OP suggested to text the woman something like: “where do we stand?” Or “Where is our relationship going?” and so, giving her the sole power to determine the future of the relationship, if there is any. I suggested he doesn’t text that but instead text an initiative to meet and talk, so that he is an equal part of the discussion about the future of the relationship, if any; so that she is not the one to determine it and he is the passive recipient of her decision. WHERE they meet is not the issue, it is that they meet. Taking charge is about him not being passive in his life, waiting for her to figure things out by herself and then comply, but to make his voice heard, initiate suggestions and ways to work on the relationship.
Did I clarify the confusion?
Regarding the quote above: the words “adapt himself to others” are suspect to me- don’t know what those mean? people-please? Manipulate? Give up one’s principles so to get along? None of those I like.
anita
January 19, 2017 at 4:32 pm #125741XenopusTexParticipantAnita, sorry for delayed response. On the road.
Not 100% sure what that line means. I look at it sort of the way you did. At some point, you can become so malleable that you cease being you. Of course, I am not known for my flexibility…
January 19, 2017 at 5:42 pm #125745AnonymousGuestDear XenopusTex:
Malleable, as in: easily influenced, suggestible, susceptible, compliant, persuadable… like putty in someone’s hands- no, no, no- not the XenopusTex I know!
anita
January 20, 2017 at 7:14 am #125781
PeterParticipantThe calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others; and they, in turn, reverence his spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of him and rely upon him. The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. – James Allen
Not a great quote.
I think the problem in the quote may be that it is open to a semantic reaction to the words like ‘calm’, ‘tranquil’ and ‘adapt’.For myself those words comes across as passive and as you mention apply to many people I know to whom could not be relay on. A yes man adapts and can be calm and tranquil about it but should he be relied on?
I suspect James Allen was thinking about those people who when your around them you feel yourself becoming calm and assured. However I suspect that that has little to do with there outward appearance of being calm and tranquil, something more is going on.
I’ve been reading up on the principle of vibration which address this phenomena.
These are some people who influence/vibrate from the authentically of their inner being. A authenticity that comes from a being that is a doing by not doing. When you come in contact with such people it’s kind of like when iron filings comes into contact with a magnet which influences all the filings to align themselves.Have you had an experience of being in a concert and it felt as if everyone was connected, all the ‘strings’ vibrating at the same frequency and aligned? Of course that’s music but there are those that have the gift to influence people in the same way, from their being. Some vibrate and influence for good some for ill.
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