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Should I reach out to my ex who has erection problem and anxiety?

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 week, 3 days ago.

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  • #333045

    Anonymous

    My ex and I had amazing relationship for over a year. But during the last month of our relationship, so many unexpected problems happened and things got complicated.He suffers from erectile dysfunction and anxiety .End up breaking up 4 months ago.( I initiated the breakup but it was kind of mutual decision). I wanted to get back together maybe when he got better. But he didn’t make it clear what he wanted.So we ended it officially and stop talking. But about 1 month ago, he sent me a message out of the blue, said lets be friends and can meet for coffee at some point.I said Ok. After that he disappeared.

    Should I reach out to check up on my ex? Sometimes I worried about his situation. Or I just leave him alone? I dont understand why he sent me a message then disappeared. I don’t know what he wants and I don’t want to be pushy so I maintain the distance.

    #333117

    anita
    Participant

    Dear sencha008:

    I don’t see a reason to not send him a short message, something like this: a month ago you asked me to meet you for coffee at some points and be friends. I said okay but you didn’t contact me since. Did you change your mind?

    You can state your message differently, of course, but the aim is to get information from him to a specific question, and not to add more than necessary details and topics in that one short message.

    anita

    #333121

    Inky
    Participant

    Hi sencha008,

    I vote for not contacting him. He asked you for “coffee at some point”. You said OK. He didn’t even write “Great!” or anything as a response. The ball is in his court. He knows you are open to seeing him as a friend. If he suffers from anxiety, feeling pressured might make him worse if you write anymore.

    Best,

    Inky

    #333289

    Anonymous

    Thanks Anita and Inky.I don’t want to act like a desperate ex since I had already asked to get back together. But he didn’t show attitude to keep me in his life. His out of the blue message did mess with my mind. I am kinda expecting him to contact me which is unfair for me. But meanwhile, he has erection problem, low self esteem, maybe all these things stop him from being with me. But I don’t know the real reason behind that. He seemed pretty ok with the breakup at the start. but my friend saw him once on the street, said he looked down.So I don’t know. I made it clear that I am open to meet and be friends.

    #333353

    anita
    Participant

    Dear sencha0808:

    To understand better I ask: when you were in a relationship with him did the two of you fight, or argue, and if so, what were those fights/ arguments like?

    anita

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