Should I stay or should I go?

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This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 5 months ago by Nina Sakura.

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October 23, 2016 at 12:24 am #118732

J
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Ok. I have anxiety issues. I work at Sears and I hate it. I still live with my parents. I got my degree in Political Science. I tried teaching, but the anxiety was too much.But I do have an interest in teaching abroad. So I see a therapist. I haven’t been able to see her for a while because of my job. I saw her a few days ago and I told her about this teach abroad informational a few hours away from my hometown. I told her that I wanted to attend just to see what it was about.
She agreed, but she was reluctant. She even wanted me to send her a copy of the email that I received. I know she wants me to stay grounded, but I feel like she wants me to stay in my crummy job in this small town. I told her that I had been applying to little receptionist positions and even some bank teller jobs. In regard to the bank teller job, she asked “do you know someone personally who is a bank teller, that job can be stressful”. Then she told me to just think about what different careers I’d want to try. But I feel like I’ve been thinking for 3 years!
I just feel like she’s holding me back in a sense. I said that would be my first time driving to this city by myself and she said to take someone with me. I understand where she’s coming from, but this event is on a Sunday from 9AM to 6PM. If I take someone, what will they do for the entire day? I kind of wanted to do this by myself so I can have some alone time away from my parents, work, and anyone else I’m forced to come in contact with. After discussing this with her, I almost don’t want to go. I’m 26, but I feel 16. What should I do?

October 23, 2016 at 5:27 am #118737
Inky
Participant
There is a saying, “Keep your Goals Away from the Trolls”. Even people in the helping professions can be trolls.

We all have certain perceptions, and when someone breaks our preconceived perception of them that can unnerve us. For example there was this girl who had a child in college and for twenty years everyone was all, “Poor young single mom struggling to make it on her own!” Well, now she owns her own successful salon! Hello, it’s twenty years later and everyone gets older/more capable/things change!

I have a friend and he doesn’t tell his therapist EVERYTHING. He tells her after the fact! They’ll be all, “Oh, they didn’t tell me this” and get unnerved. Well, we don’t pay them to keep us down, we pay them to unravel psychological knots!

Another example, my son was applying to a service academy. The pastor who he got a recommendation from was basically prepping us for failure. “It’s a long shot. Not everyone gets in. Have a conversation with him so he won’t get disappointed.” Then he got in!! I mean talk about having no faith! I’m all “He’s actually very bright and just because he’s a jock doesn’t mean he doesn’t get straight A’s.”

Take away: Tell people things AFTER you do them (and some people after you succeed).

Best,

Inky
- This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Inky.
October 23, 2016 at 5:50 am #118739
Peppermint
Participant
Dear J,
personally I think you can only grow by going to that informational. I imagine they will tell you about different options to go abroad and maybe there will also be some people who will talk about their own experience. It’s a good way to check for yourself if this is something you want to do right now or not (yet). Just relax, remember that you don’t have to apply tomorrow and board the airplane the day after, you are just gathering information.
I also believe that you can go on your own. It sounds as if this is something you want to do alone, so why not? I’m reluctant to write this (because it might get your imagination going) but what is the worst that could happen? Feel free to write these fears here because I am sure there are a lot of people here who can come up with solutions.
Also if you end up wanting to take someone with you after all, he/she could just come with you to the informational, no? I’m sure it is interesting even for people who don’t want to go abroad themselves. Or maybe they could go shopping/see the city in the meantime.
And one last thing: if something happens on that sunday – then it’s not the end of the world, either. Don’t let the thought slip into your mind that you “should have listened to your therapist” or something.
- This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Peppermint.
October 23, 2016 at 6:18 am #118741

Nina Sakura
Participant

J,

I am closer to your age group so perhaps my idea will have a sense of myopia to it – stress is inevitable in life but I think it’s important to know what’s worth the stress.

The pros of going overseas are new oppurtunities, new environment, new people and perhaps being in a career you are passionate about. Monetarily too it will be a rewarding thing I hope.

The cons are a new environment, new culture and people, being away from family, adjusting in new environment and financial constraints of travelling to and fro.

Look at the two paragraphs carefully – they are almost the same thing aren’t they?

What matters though is the person and perspective – this is actually different in each case and comes down to three things :-

Your level of passiom, the confidence you have in your ability to deal with the unknown and also your willingness to improve yourself.

Maybe your therapist has her reasons for saying what she says but what do you think and what can you do to get there?

It’s all about perspective at the end of the day. What’s yours?

Regards,
Nina

October 23, 2016 at 6:22 am #118742

Nina Sakura
Participant

And regarding her wanting to accompany you, well if you don’t want her to come along, say you will be fine and prefer to head off on your own. And go live hour life your way. You ain’t 16.
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