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Sister Love

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  • March 21, 2014 at 1:48 am #53217
    vivek008
    Participant

    hello tiny buddha,i am writing this deep sadness…I have an fight with girl who was my good friend. she like my sister to me..last time,i lend some money for her education.all i do for her is just love..few month ago,she lost her job and said will give some money after get job.However i get doubt with her act..she went for vacation and go along with guys all. so i wonder she gets all.To clear my doubt, i send to an message and call her but she never replied. Then i get temper,send message that she has ” two faces” and give my money back. Later, she reply me, she was busy and i have no sense all..i realized my mistake tell the whole story but refused to listen it…after few month later, i send message her regarding job vacancy but she reply me with harsh way and tell to me that she give my money back by today but she never do it what promise. because of that, i get anger and tell her you just loser and she repiled ” i am psychomaniac” due of my temper..later,her boyfriend calls me and explain me she has stress problems, will pay my money..after hear this,i was cry that i dunno she had this problem…now i don’t need my money..i just want hug her tightly because care her too much but she refused to see me because i hurt her too much..Also i really don’t know she has boyfriend…she is a good girl and who don’t have father.due of she always wanted to somebody care like a father…i will be happy if know this earlier all but too late….For her boyfriend, i am a disturbing man and for her, i am psychomaniac. ….I am maybe angry guy too but i have an heart too.nobody see that…My mind getting haywire and i don’t know whether am i doing this mistake..by thinking this too much,i really feel mental person…please guide me

    March 21, 2014 at 10:05 am #53234
    Matt
    Participant

    Vivek008,

    In my opinion, never lend money to a friend. Give it freely, without expectation, or don’t give it… depending on what feels best. Its not good to have debt between friends, it causes all sorts of problems. If they insist on it being a loan, for their conscience or feeling of self esteem, let it be, but on your side, let it be a gift. If they pay you back, huzzah! What fun, some extra money! Otherwise, why carry a ledger in your backpack? It only takes up room that could hold some flowers.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    March 22, 2014 at 2:34 am #53317
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Thanks Matt. Completely agree with your advice. I learnt this lesson the hard way few years ago and am glad that I am over this life lesson atleast for now 🙂

    Hi Vivek008

    It is a little difficult to understand your writing but from what I can gather, your sister-like-friend owes you money. You have been brave enough to ask her back for the money that she owes you but she hasnt and instead she calls you, “psychomaniac” ? You obviously dont like this “label” or her behaviour towards you. Is this correct ?

    If I were you, I would leave the emotions out of this transaction. On one hand, you love your friend like a sister and on the other hand, you feel sour as she is calling you names and not returning the money she owes you. If your love is sincere, leave the money out of it and hopefully, one day she will realise her mistake and return the money she owes. If the money is more important than this relationship for whatever reasons, then go through the right channels to get your money back.

    Remember, as money is important for survival, it can create rifts between loved ones and friends alike.

    In my experience, you cant have it both ways when it comes to money dealings with most people unless the transaction is a business deal or based on strong personal values or understanding (ie I take money from you for a personal need and I will return it ASAP ). If people could get away without paying their debts, I think many of us would avail that opportunity as it is an easier path to follow. A conscious person will not take this path, however, developing this mindset requires self awareness and spiritual growth.

    Perhaps, this experience has been put in your life so that you can grow and evolve from it. Dont be sad or go mental over it. Money can be earned but the moments that you have lost crying over it will never be earned back. So think about it. What is more important for you – your mental peace or lack of it ?

    Sending you loads of positive energy and hope you find whatever you are seeking,

    J

    March 25, 2014 at 1:01 am #53503
    vivek008
    Participant

    Thanks Matt And Jasmine.Now earn my wisdom.

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