Hi deb,

Sorry to hear that you were let down by your sister and also that you’re having financial hardships through the holidays– it sounds like a very stressful and uncomfortable situation for you to be in.  It was very brave of you to reach out to your sister for help and you are understandably hurt that she was not able to help you in the same way that you would have liked her to.  Your sister’s response, however, seems like a very healthy and appropriate boundary to have set.  She was very kind and direct about her reasoning and decision for not being able to help and she even reiterated the fact that your relationship means a lot to her and that she cares about you.

What exactly do you think has changed about the relationship?  Do you find yourself grieving the loss of the relationship– as if her not agreeing to help you invalidates the entirety of your relationship or any past positive interactions you’ve had?  Would you like to share more about what your letter contains or explain what your intentions/motives are with the letter?  I think that may help clear up what this means to you and whether or not sending the letter would be in your best interest or if it might be helpful just as a therapeutic way for you to process your feelings without sending it to her.

I hope this helps!

Amy