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Something is missing and I need help to find it

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Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
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  • #156356
    Beth
    Participant

    I’m 45 years old, single and have no human kids, 2 furry ones, Foster and Ruby. I’ve been divorced since 2003. Been thru a couple bad relationships also. I’ve learned to be okay with being alone. I have my own home and a job that I love but it doesn’t pay as well lately. I’m in sales and times are different now.  I also do some real estate on the side to help with bills. I still live just outside the town I grew up in.  I live in a resort that always has things going on. I have amazing friends and my mom lives right up the street from me. I’ve been dating a guy who lives 2 hours away from me and it’s been good for the most part but I know he isn’t right for me.   My dad passed away in 2010 and it has been one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with, but I’m dealing with it the best I can.   Even tho my life is pretty good, I have always felt like there is something bigger out there for me. I have travelled all over the world and found places I truly connected with but none that would make me pack up my life and leave. I don’t have a bunch of money to just take off and try to find myself, but I would work for it. I just need help finding something to do that will get me out of here. I can sell anything, never met a stranger in my life, have been writing since I was 13 but never published anything.  Any ideas??

    #156370
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Beth:

    I may get ideas if I knew what you write about, since you were 13?

    And can you elaborate on never having met a stranger in your life?

    * Will be back in 8 hours or so.

    anita

    #157064
    Beth
    Participant

    I started out writing poems and have always written in a journal. I spent a week in LA at a screenwriting class and really liked the format. I have some half written screenplays.  I also have a lot of beginnings of novels, mostly about my life and my father’s life. I just can’t seem to take the time to finish any of my writing. It’s very hard to do and still maintain a full time job and a life.

    When I say I’ve never met a stranger, I mean I’m very outgoing. I can talk to anyone. I’m one of those people that sits beside you on a plane and delves right into conversation before take off.

    Thank you for your reply. I would love to hear any ideas you might have.

    #157082
    Macy
    Participant

    Beth

    I think you had your niche in life since you were 13. If you enjoy writing but find it overwhelming to finish…baby steps..like this week I will sit down for 3 hours (or whatever it is) …and mark it on a calander..and the next week and so forth…so it will be a craving to do a bit each day…it’s like I got into biking at first it was hard..but I set a goal to do 2 big rides a week..after it was done..the next week I increased it..and so on…

    Your passion to write….you have no idea where that will take you. Start that calander today..but I wouldn’t be specific to a date in case things come up u would just write it on the Sunday knowing you have to dedicate so much time to it by next Sunday. ..so by Wednesday if you haven’t done anything..you’ll likely not give yourself an excuse cause its on paper starring you on the fridge everytime you go by. And whenever I give myself a goal…I go onto my phone into the calander on whatever day I did whatever I wanted to achieve and say good job for… with a smiley face..so when I’m at work if I’m going thru my calander it’s a self praise “good job” from me to me.  Self praise does wonders to yourself.

    Good luck!!!

    Macy

    #157142
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Beth:

    In my effort to get ideas (which is what you asked for), it often helps me to re-write the information I am reading. In the process of re-writing it, information sinks in and gets processed. Let’s see if it happens here: you are 45, single, living with two pets. Divorced when you were 31, had a couple of bad relationships since. You are dating a man now whom you believe is not the right man for you.

    You own your own home, living just outside the town where you were born, down the street from your mother. Your father passed away when you were 38 and it has been very difficult for you.

    You work in sales, which pays less than it used to, and you are doing real estate on the side. You travelled all over the world.  You want to “get (yourself) out of here”.

    You mentioned spending a week in LA at a screenwriting class. You wrote “some half written screenplays”, have lots of “beginnings of novels”. And you wrote: “I just can’t seem to take the time to finish any of my writing. It’s very hard to do and still maintain a full time job and a life.

    I think I am getting an idea, will develop it as I type: my idea is not that you finish writing those screenplays and novels. A side note: I lived in LA, started screenplays myself, met lots of people who did, some finished their screenplays, short stories and novels. There are so many, many people who write, with the hope of getting published. On very rare occasions, very rare, people get published and read by a significant number of people. Back from my side note: my idea is that you treat your life like the most important screenplay that you will ever write and execute.

    Wikipedia’s entry on screenplay reads: “The major components are action”- so will it be in your life, action. Same entry, continued: “and dialogue” (you wrote: “I can talk to anyone. I’m one of those people that sits beside you on a plane and delves right into conversation before take off”).

    Continued, same entry: “The action is written in the present tense”- so is your screenplay/life, it is about the present tense. I suppose you do want to leave the past, where you always lived, the job you had for so long, the unsatisfactory relationships… you want a present tense that will be different from the past.

    In a screenplay you get to create. I think in your life you need to create. No longer to live as before.

    In a screenplay you deliver a message, something that you value very much. I think that you need a message, a value, a meaning for your life. It needs to be more than living the-same-old-same-old way.

    How have I processed so far?

    anita

    #157152
    Beth
    Participant

    Perfectly.

    #157160
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Beth:

    Good. I may be helpful to you then. Post again with your thoughts, feelings and plans, if you’d like, and I will reply again.

    anita

    #157228
    Beth
    Participant

    Creating is exactly what I want to do, but maybe it isn’t the writing that I want to create. It’s a new chapter in my life that I want to create.  I just don’t know how to start. I do job searches and I wonder what city I should enter. I look up all these articles about places to start a new life for a single female in 40s, but I get all this crap about finding a man. That’s not my main concern. I want to find me, a new me. Relationships are fine but I have learned to navigate life without them.  I have all this excitement inside of me for something different and new. Why can’t I figure out what it is??

    #157230
    Beth
    Participant

    Btw, thank you Anita. You are stirring up great feelings inside of me. None of my friends understand this part of me.

    #157344
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Beth:

    It is probably not a good idea, at this point of not knowing, to move to a new place, you already” have travelled all over the world and found places I truly connected with but none that would make me pack up my life and leave”-

    Where you live, are there acting classes you can sign in to, acting classes where the practice is to do improvisations? That would be creating while interacting with people and using language.

    The inclination to create the new chapter in your life must come from inside of you, jump started perhaps in an acting class (or some other comparable context) where you currently live, living your life as is. This will be the first step in that new chapter, I believe.

    anita

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