November 7, 2023 at 4:31 pm #424836AnonymousInactive
Hi. I’m new to this forum but not new to Tiny Buddha which has given me so much comfort and guidance in the last year or so.
I think I’ve been going through a spiritual enlightenment and feel a bit lost and in need of support.
It all started about 18 months ago with weird physical symptoms – bright lights while sleeping and third eye pain and tingling. Then came the crown tingling. I thought I had some kind of medical issue but checked out with the doctor and apparently I’m fine. I’ve come to believe that this may be spirit saying hello (someone told me about ‘medium’s nit’s – something I’d never heard of!)
Then, lots and lots of very weird vivid dreams. Something I’ve had my whole life (and my Mum who has passed) but never to this level. Being told things in my sleep, what I’d call ‘downloads’ of information – things I just knew were absolutely the truth (everything is connected, plant spirit guides, time is an illusion etc).
Then I had an immense ‘peak experience’ where I physically and emotionally felt the connection with plants, the earth etc. This changed everything for me.
Bear with me here – I know I sound stark raving insane and I have been questioning my own sanity but I’m still living a relatively normal life and can relate to others normally so think I’m fairly sane!
I started meditating, revived my spiritual practice (somewhere between Wicca, Buddhism and Shamanism) and experienced some powerful visions that are very personal to me. I read all the books I could my hands on, listened to podcasts, watched documentaries, joined a local Pagan group.
I finally found the courage to leave my job which didn’t fit with who I am now and am now training to be a therapist. Then my life began to implode: my marriage is falling apart, my kids are both struggling (both now diagnosed with ASD and one now not in school – I’m home edding), my Dad died.
Meanwhile I feel like spirit(s) are trying communicate with me but I don’t know how to listen effectively or trust myself.
I am now at a point where I know that the ‘flavour’ of spiritual practice really doesn’t matter, that we’re all connected, that we are more than the sum of our minds and body but I also feel lost. I feel that I’ve gone over the edge spiritually and that I can’t see where I’m heading. I feel like I need guidance but still struggle with trusting my own intuition and inner compass. Spiritual blowback I guess?
Anyone going through similar? I’m pretty sure there’ll be LOTS of you as I feel that we’re all being given the waking up call. Any help accepted!November 7, 2023 at 6:30 pm #424852anitaParticipant
(I am adding the boldface feature to your words): “I physically and emotionally felt the connection with plants, the earth etc… I know.. that we’re all connected… but I also feel lost. I feel that I’ve gone over the edge spiritually and that I can’t see where I’m heading. I feel like I need guidance“-
– I read somewhere, and believe it to be true, that (I am paraphrasing) we humans are like the ocean, connected and timeless. Each individual human being is like a wave that rises (lives) and then falls (dies), a temporary, momentary appearance in the vast, timeless ocean.
Now, my observation: the problem with humanity is that too many of us do not feel the connection: we feel and act as separate entities, and the result: sickness, wars and a troubled world in so many ways. Going back to the analogy of the ocean, it’d be like so many, many waves are splitting from the blue ocean, separately shooting up into the air, and having lost the blue color of the ocean, invisible, they get lost. The meaning of life is in the connection. Separated, we are lost.
You shared about what I understand to be quite a few separations in your life, some recent: “my Mum who has passed.. I finally found the courage to leave my job… my marriage is falling apart, my kids are both struggling (both now diagnosed with ASD.. my Dad died”-
– separation from your Mum and Dad through death, separation from your job, separation from your partner in marriage, and there is separation in Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD), an emotional separation within and without.
I would like to communicate with you on the matter, if you would like to. Would you? Do you agree with any or all of what I wrote here so far?
anitaNovember 23, 2023 at 8:05 pm #425576TommyParticipant
It is important to now where we come from to understand where we are now. And knowing how we stand now, that leads us to knowing how the future will stand with us. You will need to talk with someone who knows you well.
Marriage doesn’t just fall apart. It takes two people to fall in love and one to let it disappear. The cause is within you. Change and the world will change too. Stay as you are now and the momentum of events will guarantee future events as you see them. Change and the difference will arise in both persons.
I am sorry I can not help. If you are lost because you feel your spirituality is taking over your thoughts and life is falling behind,… then where is this spirituality taking you. To a happier place. To Nirvana? Sometimes spiritual awakening comes with lost of the sense of self. Thought hold off and emotions runs over. There becomes a lost of balance. Spiritual awakening must come with a balance of opening of the mind and wisdom and compassion.November 25, 2023 at 6:36 pm #425603TommyParticipant
I have only met a few who have gone thru this type of experience without the help of a teacher. They become obsessed with their experiences and lose their sense of what is real and what to believe is normal. These experiences can be unsettling and pull one away from those who surrounds one. The opening of the mind’s eye can come with disturbing images which one does not understand. It can come with messages that is apparently a warning. None of which the person under going these experience can understand or comprehend correctly without a certain knowledge and help. A swimmer lost in an eddy or whirl pool, fighting to survive the current. Please find yourself a teacher. Private talk. Find the balance in your life to bring about the wisdom and compassion for a full life. Good luck.