Hi. I’m new to this forum but not new to Tiny Buddha which has given me so much comfort and guidance in the last year or so.

I think I’ve been going through a spiritual enlightenment and feel a bit lost and in need of support.

It all started about 18 months ago with weird physical symptoms – bright lights while sleeping and third eye pain and tingling. Then came the crown tingling. I thought I had some kind of medical issue but checked out with the doctor and apparently I’m fine. I’ve come to believe that this may be spirit saying hello (someone told me about ‘medium’s nit’s – something I’d never heard of!)

Then, lots and lots of very weird vivid dreams. Something I’ve had my whole life (and my Mum who has passed) but never to this level. Being told things in my sleep, what I’d call ‘downloads’ of information – things I just knew were absolutely the truth (everything is connected, plant spirit guides, time is an illusion etc).

Then I had an immense ‘peak experience’ where I physically and emotionally felt the connection with plants, the earth etc. This changed everything for me.

Bear with me here – I know I sound stark raving insane and I have been questioning my own sanity but I’m still living a relatively normal life and can relate to others normally so think I’m fairly sane!

I started meditating, revived my spiritual practice (somewhere between Wicca, Buddhism and Shamanism) and experienced some powerful visions that are very personal to me. I read all the books I could my hands on, listened to podcasts, watched documentaries, joined a local Pagan group.

I finally found the courage to leave my job which didn’t fit with who I am now and am now training to be a therapist. Then my life began to implode: my marriage is falling apart, my kids are both struggling (both now diagnosed with ASD and one now not in school – I’m home edding), my Dad died.

Meanwhile I feel like spirit(s) are trying communicate with me but I don’t know how to listen effectively or trust myself.

I am now at a point where I know that the ‘flavour’ of spiritual practice really doesn’t matter, that we’re all connected, that we are more than the sum of our minds and body but I also feel lost. I feel that I’ve gone over the edge spiritually and that I can’t see where I’m heading. I feel like I need guidance but still struggle with trusting my own intuition and inner compass. Spiritual blowback I guess?

Anyone going through similar? I’m pretty sure there’ll be LOTS of you as I feel that we’re all being given the waking up call. Any help accepted!