Home→Forums→Relationships→STRUGGLE MARRIAGE AND PAINFUL.
- This topic has 287 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by Thondit.
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September 22, 2020 at 7:15 am #367073ThonditParticipant
Dear Anita,
Thanks for supporting my ideas, I’m happy as long we are making collectives collaboration and ideas in term of endearment and what might happen next again. Both of us, you and I don’t want, what happened before to repeat itself again. We pray that God stand with us just to give us the one with one cold heart who is not heartless.
Apparently, I got the girl who is literally tall , well designed human being, with significant amount of respect,,,,,, she is a nice brown girl who still not yet reached to high school,,,,, and perhaps I’m okay with her level of education. University girls and Form 4 certificate as well as diploma holder are problematic here in South Sudan, they all assume they have gone far with education.
Our young men specially lost boys and home boys has resort to those villages girls because they are loyal to us men who love to have home and be responsible.
They urban fantasy girls well brown beach one are radically becoming bimbos and catalyst to men. They says the know everything about life.
With the one of I’m about to go for is a cool one beautiful heart. She respected her family and relatives, NOT LIKE M1 AND M2 who see everyone has nothing to them.
I love her character and her moral behaves.
Let see next agenda again in the process.
Good blessed you Anita.
Gregory Chan.
September 22, 2020 at 11:01 am #367094AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You are welcome and thank you for your blessings.
“I love her character and her moral behaves… She respects her family and relatives”- this is huge: I can’t think of anything more important to consider when choosing a wife and a mother to your son (and to future children, if you choose to have more children) than character and moral behavior.
You wrote that village girls are loyal and value home and being responsible to their home/ family, while urban girls are arrogant (“say they know everything about life”), and- as I understand it- they don’t value a home/ family life and the responsibilities that go with it. Therefore, the choice is clear: a village woman (but a village woman who does not want to become an urban woman. See to it that it’s the case!)
anita
January 23, 2022 at 3:04 am #391699ThonditParticipantDear Anita
How are you? I know u will be surprised to receive a short note today on your end downside.
Hope you are breathing well.
It’s been a couple of years with or without exchanging our constructive conversation positively. I’m good at Myspace here. And perhaps everything is amazing.
All of this “every person can be extraordinary and achieve greatness ” stuff is basically just jerking off in one’s ego. It’s a message that tastes good going down, but in reality is nothing more than empty calories that make you emotionally fat and bloated, the proverbial Big Mac for heart and brain.
The episode is well won.
Thanks.
Much appreciated.
Greg.
January 23, 2022 at 8:57 am #391724AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
I am indeed surprised and delighted !!! to read back from you a year and 4 months after your last post here. Is this your new wife in the photo, and a second child? She is very pretty, and the baby looks adorable!
I am fine, breathing, thank you!
“All of this ‘every person can be extraordinary and achieve greatness’ stuff is basically just jerking off in one’s ego. It’s a message that tastes good going down, but in reality, is nothing more than empty calories that make you emotionally fat and bloated, the proverbial Big Mac for heart and brain” – you have such original, creative ways of saying things, delightful to read!
So, how are you giving and receiving wholesome food for the heart and brain, these days?
anita
January 23, 2022 at 1:37 pm #391785ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thanks for being kind enough. And I’m also finally able recognize, stabled with new one as you see above pic ☝️. Its with a great Honor to you read me back loud and clear.
Greg is in a different planet. I’m good at giving of essential care free ways to makes others happy, through productivity ideas and I feed them with words of vanity to go extra miles.
With this , God blessed you.
January 23, 2022 at 2:04 pm #391786AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
Your new baby’s face reminds me of Christopher Agoth Gregory Chan’s face. They are both beautiful children.
You are welcome and thank you for returning here to talk with me! Thank you for wishing me blessings, and I wish you, your children and your new wife to be blessed in this new year and forward!
anita
- This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by .
January 23, 2022 at 10:57 pm #391803ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thanks for the comparison. Both of my sons look aligned. I have had got a strong DNA. Appreciated you.
It is simple for every person to fall down and when you have the ability to wake up and see , when you went wrong and make it wonderful. My new woman as quite as mouse….. she is very understanding lady I have ever met. She is a very independent and internally motivated person. She is not been financially independent but since she started college of so called “Love” , (she graduated with honesty & hope for betterment of our relationship) and I feel that it has made me strong, but gracious and humble too.
Imaginative of her saying every situation need to be handle with cares and put LOVE first to solve the problems… with that u will be able to walk in other person’s life too.
On the other hand much appreciation for the great deeds you devoted to pouring a lots of advices to come back into my senses.
Our culture today is obsessively focused on unrealistically positive expectations. Be happier, Be healthier, Be the best, better than the rest. Be smarter, faster, richer, Sexier, more popular, more productive, more envied, and more attractive, more admired. Be perfect and amazing.
I’m happy with my faith and hope , I will go slowly like one fly the helicopter to my wonderful fulfilling destination.
And as an professional Aviator, Safety first,,,
Get back to Anita, when I’m from my intended destination.
With this God bless you Anita.
Thanks.
Greg.
January 24, 2022 at 9:00 am #391808AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
Your new woman is not only very pretty with a beautiful smile, but more importantly: she is the most understanding woman you ever met- this is wonderful to read!
Also, she is very independent and internally motivated, gracious and humble, saying that “every situation needs to be handled with care and put LOVE first to solve problems“, and as a result, you are a stronger man: “I feel that it has made me strong“.
Your woman inspires me, and I want to be more like her: to handle every situation with care and to put love first when attempting to solve problems. Thank you, Gregory, for sharing about her!
“Our culture today is obsessively focused on unrealistically positive expectations. Be happier, Be healthier, Be the best, better than the rest. Be smarter, faster, richer, Sexier, more popular, more productive, more envied, and more attractive, more admired. Be perfect and amazing” – these are your wise words. Your woman is fortunate to have you (and you are fortunate to have her)!
You are welcome and thank you for your wise words, for your kindness and grace! Come back here to your thread any time you wish.
anita
January 24, 2022 at 1:28 pm #391820ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
First I will say congratulations for wonderful praised towards for my fiancee. There’s a saying in Texas; “the smallest dog barks the loudest” A rich woman doesn’t feel a need to convince anybody that she’s rich. Either you are or you are not.
Her rule says I choose Love because that’s one language everybody understands despite their background, religion and views of life.
I often imagine a world where there is no judgments, no slander, no hatred and no war. As an individual who seek for such a world to become a reality, the only way I can play a part to making it come to pass is to let
Love guide my every decision, actions and words. Before I speak, act or make a decision, I first let LOVE lead the way so I don’t get triggered or influenced by what my mere eyes can see.
With love as the primary values of my life, I sure know that every other thing will fall into the right place. THANKS Anita, the version of myself, my woman is wise. And I appreciated it if u took her words too.
God bless you.
Greg.
January 24, 2022 at 3:09 pm #391823AnonymousGuestDear Greg:
“I often imagine a world where there is no judgment, no slander, no hatred and no war. As an individual who seeks such a world to become a reality, the only way I can play a part in making it come to pass is to let Love guide my every decision, actions and words. Before I speak, act or make a decision, I first let LOVE lead the way so I don’t get triggered or influenced by what my mere eyes can see” – thank you for yet more wise words put together in such a delightful way!
I copied your words for my own record, Good to read that the beautiful mother of your second child is your fiancée, how delightful to see your newest photo and read your dedication to Love. You and your fiancée are inspiring!
anita
January 24, 2022 at 6:33 pm #391833ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Wow !! Everything of you is wow.
And its also give me a favor to smile.
She will be continuing making her first priority, but I’m fearing the way i praise her, will make me the victim of the failure of the first married….I Think out of the box dear… praising her is every gentleman pleasure due to blood but it might be obstacle if you i don’t double check all angles .
What do you think?
Greg.
January 24, 2022 at 6:40 pm #391834AnonymousGuestDear Greg:
I am not sure I understand your question: you are afraid that praising her will cause what to happen?
And by “double check all angles?”- what do you mean?
I will soon be away from the computer and be back in about 12 hours from now.
anita
January 25, 2022 at 1:27 am #391836ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thanks for requesting more clarification to owe you about it in details. Women have a lots Egos, to dealt with. When u love a woman with all your heart, its turn to be a desperation on her yet u married her to be a brother to u , a mother, a sister to u. I always trust a woman and that what give me courage that my life will never end badly.
I love someone that have credibility.
Trustworthy.
Trust is like virginity once you lose it you can never recover!!
In my humble opinion, in this dimension of space and time, we will never have the mental and physical faculties to define what God is. It’s like expecting UV light to understand and expound informed commentary on 1930s German Expressionist cinema.
Anita, double check all angles is to keep studying her while together and give her the opportunity to keep her busy.
Anita, South Sudan girls are very distinguished!!!!
Flying first, I will get back to u later for more.
Thanks
Gregory.
January 25, 2022 at 8:45 am #391843AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You are welcome, thank you for your kind words and fly safely!
“When u love a woman with all your heart… u married her to be a brother to u, a mother, a sister to u. I always trust a woman and that’s what gives me courage that my life will never end badly…. Trust is like virginity once you lose it can never recover!” – again, you have such original, unique, intelligent and insightful thoughts and a way with words, such that I encounter only when reading your posts!
“I’m fearing the way I praise her, will make me the victim of the failure of the first marriage… it might be obstacle if I don’t double check all angles… Women have lots of Egos to deal with… I love someone who has credibility. Trustworthy” – I think that I understand: you’ve been praising your fiancée, and you are afraid that praising her will inflate her ego so much that she may betray you, like your ex-wife did. My thoughts:
Your ex-wife was an exceptionally bad wife and mother, in heartless ways. I doubt that there are lots of women who can match her negative exceptionality, statistically speaking, and I doubt that you could be so unfortunate as to marry two such negatively exceptional wives in a row!
When you praise your fiancée, make sure that your praises are not exaggerated, unrealistic or unbalanced. An example of an exaggerated praise– you say to her: no one is prettier than you in the whole world! This exaggeration can make her anxious because she knows that there are women out there who are prettier than her and she may think something like: what if he meets a prettier woman tomorrow? Will he leave me for her?
An example of an unrealistic praise– you say to her: I like it that you are never angry! This is not realistic because everyone feels anger once in a while, and so, such a praise is likely to make her uncomfortable, thinking something like: what will happen if he knows the truth, if he knows that I do get angry? Will he leave me then?
An example of an unbalanced praise– you say to her: you are so pretty and good, I do not deserve you! This is unbalanced because you raise her while you lower yourself. Such praise can make her feel suspicious of you, thinking something like: he is saying that he is not good, I wonder in what ways he isn’t good, maybe he is cheating on me?! Or she may feel superior to you, thinking something like- it is not fair to me that I settle for a man who is inferior to me, I should look for a man who is worthy of me!
Is she close to her parents; did you meet them… are they decent people who support you being their future son in law?
anita
- This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by .
January 25, 2022 at 6:13 pm #391849ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
What a Bombastic phenomenon of the phrase. It has required an additional amount of patience giving due time to understand further. I have read it and understood it.
This is especially extremely extraordinarily words to give. You are as brilliant as – Alshaba – terrorists are very wiser people who think extra mile than the normal people.
Congratulation Anita, you have really read ” books” and I wanted to be a surprise small photocopy of Anita in South Sudan. My hands up.
I think I am a good judge of character. I usually have a quick gut instinct about others and I think I generally make wise decisions about the people I surround myself with.
Anita, thanks very well described literature with a sense of reasoning. Its beyond and clearer.
Our keenest generations especially within South Sudan are different perpetrated earth’s Animals in the history.
Their Google history is unsafe. Both are essential in making most out of their lives.
The way you dress and the way speak are accurate representation of how you view yourself.
Our generation adapted a system of East Africa – very Immoral generations .
When you dress in jeans all the time, to me, that represents that u are down to earth. If you dress up even when you are at work, that represents that you feel important and you have a statement to make. Dressing down in a sweat pants and tee – shirts represent comfort in any given situation.
Behind every system of actions are systems of beliefs. The systems of a democracy is founded on beliefs like freedom, majority rule, and social equality.
Once your pride gets involved, you will fight tooth and nail to maintain your habits.
Simple equation that make a powerful state Behavior a function of the person in their environment. I.e South Sudan
Or B = f(P, E) .Every living being has its own methods for sensing and understanding the world.
Eagles have remarkable long distance vision.
Snakes can smell by ” tasting the air ” with their highly sensitive tongues.
Sharks can detect some amount of electricity and vibration in the water caused by nearby fish. Even bacteria have chemoreceptors – tiny sensory cells that allow them to detect toxic chemicals in the environment.In humans, perception is detected by the sensory nervous system.We perceive the world through sigh, sound, smell, touch and taste, but we also have other ways of sensing stimuli .
So here is the dealt – George Orwell said that to see what’s in front of one’s nose requires a constant struggle.
Well, the solution to our stress and anxiety is right there in front of our noses, and we are too busy watching porn and advertisements for ab machines that doesn’t work, wondering. Our girls are introvert….. they don’t values marriage nowadays. With this let me put u into this and you will concur with me.
In South Sudan, and Dinka culture in particular, men pay a lot of cows in order to marry. Take an example the picture you see above again,
I have extremely suffered again to pay a dowries of 195 head of cattles. Which is 200 cows again.
But the worst part of it, girls still go for their ex bf not her but some whom I even know.
And they says – some men have to be check before marriage us? Who can check who? The one who paid cows to be checked or the one whose cows are paid for to be owned?
And they says we don’t cares!! Why do they allow an innocent cow to be slaughtered during the final agreement of both negotiators? It is not to beautifying blood but oath to show this girl is no longer among others girls on the streets again but now a married woman.
who don’t mind about the originality of anything he/she buys? If in your culture you don’t pay cows and money the way we do, then you are free to marry any prostitute.
virginity is not stupidity. It is stupidity from people who have high appetite for sex and who think that sex is a basic needs.Anyway, anybody is entitled to his/her rights to do what you likes but they should know there’s tomorrow and a different of one who paid cows and who is not.
The half Kenyan, half Ugandans and half South Sudanese will not understand me. In fact, this is one of the reasons why the court is full of divorce cases. While they were girls, they got addicted to fornication and even after marriage they still practice those things with their exs. Stupid generation!!!
Happiness is contagious, so if you are happy, your child will be happy with you.
So stay happy and let your child see that despite various problems that life throws at him when he grows older, he can always find a reason to be happy. Raising a child to be a responsible young person and having a happy mindset is not easy.
The right kind of feedback interaction, and moderate guidance can help you make your child grow up to be a happy individual. Am I clear Anita,? Am I saying facts to be heard and see?
And this I’m a real icon man who love one woman, who believed ladies are the same everywhere. Who think when you mould the woman u have , treating her nicely, feeding her , dressing her , she definitely produces for you the handsome and beautiful babies u want in your heart.
I know it will require time to settle down first and through it again Anita.
Be blessed.
Gregory.
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