Hi, I have been suffering from severe anxiety and depression over the past several months and most of it stems from body dysmorphic disorder. It actually started when I was 16, but I suppressed the feelings for so many years through distractions, and avoiding the root of the problem. Eventually I even had a couple of minor plastic surgery procedures, which only seemed to make matters worse. Now I am facing my insecurities and they have come out full force (they say what you resist, persists). For so many years I associated youth and appearance with being accepted, happy and successful. I am half filipino, and grew up in a predominately Caucasian community. I remember having a best friend in 5th grade who was white, and told me that I should never meet her dad because he would automatically despise me since I was Asian. Since then, I felt ashamed of my appearance and started picking at every feature of my face (mostly my nose and eyes). I was also teased by other kids at school, which really affected me. I know in my heart that appearance isn’t everything but my subconscious mind has stored information that I’ve gathered over the years since I was a teenager (I am now 32). I have had friends and family also comment on my appearance at times (telling me I look better wearing make-up, etc). I have always been extremely sensitive, so anytime I would hear something like that, I would feel even worse. For the longest time I had a complex about my body issues because I felt that people would see me as being shallow and vain for being concerned with my looks, but it really stems from the fear of not being accepted. I have been doing a lot of spiritual work over the past few months and really trying to connect with my true self. There are moments when I feel amazing, free and at peace with myself, but then I start thinking negative thoughts about my appearance again. I am working on meditating and being mindful, which definitely helps, I just need to be patient, persistent and compassionate towards myself. A lot of my anxiety has come from these negative thoughts and then I start stressing about stressing, because I know it’s bad for my health. It seems like I am digging myself into a bigger hole sometimes and I feel so helpless. I have always been anxious by nature, so I’m really trying to find ways of dealing with it. I am determined to work through these issues though and find peace within myself. I know that I am not my body or my mind–I just want to stop having these negative thoughts because they have been taking over my life. I was wondering if anyone else out there has had the same issues.