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Suicidal mind

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • January 5, 2014 at 10:39 am #48418
    Maah
    Participant

    Hey there

    I’m a 22 y.o girl,my life is complicated and I’ve no more desire to be alive.

    I can’t explain a lot about my life,but,in resume I’m a girl who don’t have any friends,I fall in love for the first time last year and after I across the world to meet the person,she told me,you are not good enough to be my partner.
    I listen that at airport,when I was coming back to my country and then I started to cry so hard,I forgot my name and I could not speak with the immigration because I was in chock… Alright it was 6 months ago,but,until now I can’t forgot that.

    I’m doing a treatment for extreme depression,day by day I think nothing is helping me

    But,it is the small problem if I think about who I’m.
    My family hate me,my sister get married 4 weeks ago and she have not sent me a invitation, Christmas and new year I’m always alone.
    I have never never never listen a happy birthday or a gift or a party…

    The reason to my family hates me is because when I was children my brothers have abused sexual of me and when I told my teacher about,she told my parents and then my parents was so angry with me,they start no speak with me and one day my brother after do so much bad things with me I scape from my house,then I started to live in farms and houses of rich people working 12 hours per day without receive any money…
    I learned to wrote and read alone,using only the base I got in my first year of school… And when I was 12 years I lived with my godmother friends on the city, they did so much bad things with me,I can’t never forgot that. Then I got pregnant. people from the church help me a lot and I there was the first time I meet good people in my life.
    But… I have never meet my daughter,i think about my baby every day.

    After that I tried so hard become a good person and then prove to my family I’m good. But nothing works, I’ve become a really problematic person,without love to share,without hope to be alive.

    The only thing good about me is … I have never doing bad stuff, I only used drugs when I was in my godmother friends house,because they forced me to use.

    I love kids,tulips,cook,travel,music,gardening,languages etc
    But…I’m tired, I wanted to have friends to talk about good things, I wanted more happy moments, a love, maybe a normal life.
    … But how can love someone like me?

    I don’t know what do to …. I’m lost and alone.

    January 5, 2014 at 11:52 am #48420
    steve
    Participant

    Hi maria, firstly your not alone, im here and replying to your post after reading it I felt I had to just make you aware you are not alone.
    I don’t have the experience to give you advice or give you direction with your life on theses forums but I am sure there is someone here to answer and help.
    I do have experience of feeling suicidal and thinking about taking my life at an all time low in my life, however im here, replying to your post and feeling better than ever.

    January 5, 2014 at 1:55 pm #48423
    Eric Schmit
    Participant

    Always remember, you are not what others think or tell you you are. You are Maria, A good kind heated person who never did any wrong. You are lovable, and one day you will find a person to love you. First you need to do somethings.

    1) Learn to love yourself – That means: Be kind to yourself, talk to yourself in positive ways, never angry or hurtful ways. Put your needs first, become your own best friend that way you wont feel so alone,

    2) Never ever believe what people tell you who or what you are.

    3) You are going through a test, a test of character and it shows you are strong.

    4) Try not to look for others for all the answers, They can help with advice but you need to make final decisons.

    5) Ask yourself why you allow the bad and wrong opinions of others to affect your emotions so strongly

    6) You are in control of these thoughts you have, that means you dont have to give them any power.

    Your life is what it is. To some degree we can change it and to others we cant, as in your family.
    Its how you as a person deals with it that will ultimately decide your fate, are you going to be a weak person? or are you going to see all the struggles you have overcame as strength of your character?

    You are a strong person Maria, Just look inside yourself for the power and answers you seek, they are there.

    January 6, 2014 at 12:08 am #48468
    memm
    Participant

    I honestly don’t know if words are enough for a situation as difficult as yours but I know one thing for sure and that you are a very strong, loving person who is only 22!

    Life can be very difficult and you are definitely on a difficult road but we can only go forward not backwards, you still have a future ahead of you, you still have many, many opportunities for love and friends and all the other things you like.

    One of the things we have in common is that none of us can change our past, letting go of it is harder for some of us but the reality is that the now and the future is what we really have. No matter how difficult it is, it’s a shame to throw away what we can have because of what we can’t change.

    Keep traveling!

    February 5, 2014 at 4:35 pm #50379
    Maah
    Participant

    Hello people… Thanks you very much.Sometimes listen something from another person is really good and help a lot.
    Last month after wrote the text here…I was really depressed,thinking a lot about suicide and then I take a 30 days vacation and I was traveling around South America.

    At this moment a feel good…still depressed…but after see so many beautiful landscapes and do some rock climbing I can’t feel bad.

    Thanks a lot.

    🙂

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