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Surrender while keeping faith?

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This topic contains 92 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  anita 4 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 3 posts - 91 through 93 (of 93 total)
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  • #273611

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Not_so_lost_star:

    According to my records my last injury was June 2016, a couple of months before you started thread, but I remember another injury after that, only I don’t have a record of it. This current  injury has kept me from any walking  for five days already and I will not be walking today either.  My  foot is elevated and  on ice as I am typing  this. I shouldn’t have dropped that tree on my foot! (Yes, I did, not  mindful).

    I re-read a bit of your posts. In the past you planned  to buy your own  house  at  some point. You didn’t want  to rent an apartment  or a room in someone  else’s house, preferring to live with your father and  save to buy your own  home.  Is that still the plan?

    I also wonder if you still attend therapy and how different  is  your relationship with your father  since you returned from your trip?

    The friend you lost eight years ago and recently got in touch with, she probably has a lot to share about her troubled marriage, doesn’t  she.

    Time to take the ice off my foot.

    anita

    #273741

    Not_so_lost_star
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Oh dear! dropping a tree on your foot :(( that must hurt really badly! Okay, it sounds like you better take a good rest and let your foot heal! wishing you a speedy recovery. take things slow in the meantime – ice your foot and keep it elevated!

    Yes, that is still the plan. I will continue staying with my father until i have saved enough money to get my own house. Or i may explore if i have any opportunities to work overseas. that would be my dream to work overseas actually! my few months overseas last year was such an enriching experience that i would like to have a longer experience of that.

    I still attend therapy but i have changed my therapist. as much as my previous therapist helped me. .there was a part of me that was not comfortable with her as she was quite aggressive in her views and in some sessions i felt like i was also brought back to being a little girl. so i found another one whom im more comfortable with and still continuing that journey.

    I feel the main difference in my relationship with my father would be the power difference. Before this, i think the power difference was huge. I would always perceive him to be “bigger” and more powerful than me and i felt like a helpless victim. but i think now i see myself as equal sized to him and that i am an adult and not that little girl who is so fearful of him. i think i used to live in fear of his aggression and when it would happen (since it was intermittent and not all the time). but now, i know i can survive on my own and there is nothing to fear. if there comes a day that he is aggressive again, i know i can speak up for myself and i would leave. i think in the past, i would be frozen and not know what to do. but the me now, i am confident i am able to manage. so in my interactions with him now, i feel i speak to him from an adult level and not as a scared little girl responding to her father. i think it was the empowerment from being on my own in a continent i perceived to be more dangerous than my home country.

    indeed my friend that i lost 8 years ago had a lot to share about her troubled marriage and i was sad to hear that she had gone through all that. and i was also regretful on how i reacted to her wanting to get married back then. i basically told her to choose him or our friendship and that pushed her away too. i thought if i had taken a different approach, at least she would have social support. but she has moved on now and is recovering from that episode. so im glad that we are friends again and with time and maturity, i think our friendship has deepened.

    take care!

    #273827

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Not_so_lost_star:

    Thank you for wishing me a speedy recovery. So far the recovery is snail pace.

    Your progress is impressive, to see your father as another adult, not your superior, but an equal, feeling confident in your ability to assert yourself with him if he becomes aggressive, these are wonderful things.

    I remember your plan to work in another country. If you could combine your love of traveling with work, that will be wonderful.

    I can imagine your lack of compatibility with an aggressive therapist. Aggression doesn’t  promote healing, it just scares us.

    Good thing you reunited with your friend.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  anita.
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