I've had depression for 13 years, as a result of my health declining at a young age (due to a medication, Accutane, which damaged my digestion and left me with Chronic Fatigue and a host of other problems).
I'm having a really difficult week, where I don't want to deal with work, or people. I am so numb; it's difficult to express myself around people who I know don't really care how I feel. It's also hard for me to cry and let my emotions out.
Does anyone have any advice? What helps you get through your darkest days … especially when your problems seem to be unsolvable and are impacting your quality of life? I feel so stressed and exhausted, and nearly all foods seem to leave me bloated and uncomfortable. I forget to live my life sometimes, because I'm so busy looking for something to help me.
The bloating sensation, other than acute pain, is the most uncomfortable sensation I know. When that happens I tend to focus on the sensation and get distressed further. I experience the bloating and distress over it. The focus in my case became a habit. I noticed though that when my attention does get diverted, the focus not being there, the distress is gone.
I am thinking two things: distract yourself best you can, engage in an activity that works well as a distraction and as you feel the original distress, the bloating itself, try to separate the bloating sensation from the additional distress placed on top of it. Try (and it is very hard to do) to be okay with the bloating, best you can. In line with: “to accept the things I cannot change” line in the serenity prayer.
Have you felt the same previously? Is there anything that has helped you in the past?
There seem to be two aspects to this – one the physical discomfort and two the emotional overlay as you have expressed -“it's difficult to express myself around people who I know don't really care how I feel. It's also hard for me to cry and let my emotions out.”
On my darkest days with problems that are unsolvable, what helps me is accepting that some problems are unsolvable and shifting my focus to problems that are solvable.