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Taking Things Too Personally

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  • #87276
    Maria Mango
    Participant

    Hi all,

    Today I was really frustrated during a classroom debate. I often try to voice my opinion or thoughts on a subject which sometimes is not well received by other people. Some people were rude and obnoxious while I was trying to talk, maybe about what I was saying, maybe not. Either way I took it personally and it made me really mad. I ended up having a bit of an angry outburst in the middle of the discussion :/.

    I’ve been bullied in the past because I’m a little different and I have a lot of passion for what I believe in. Things are a lot better now that I am more confident in myself but even the thought of possibly being bullied still hurts and makes me hyper defensive. I would like to get to a place where issues like this don’t get to me so much. Anybody have any helpful advice, please and thanks!

    -M

    #87277
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Maria:

    There will always be someone to negatively criticize me, I realize and I believe it is true to everyone else. Even the most diplomatic people, those most gentle in their expressions, always prepared to back of their positions so to please, in other words, no matter how anyone tries, there will always be someone to negatively criticize, to attack. It is a social reality.

    The more passion and conviction you have while at the same time not being abusive, the LESS you are likely to be bullied. This is the funny thing: people think that if they are gentle, careful, they will not be bullied, not so. People bully the weak, those they perceive to be weak more than they do others. So the best way to go is with passion and conviction and assertiveness.

    When you encounter rude and obnoxious responses to you and you feel anger, don’t back off, continue to express yourself with the same passion and conviction on the topic as well as point out to the person who is being rude how he or she is being rude. You can say: (name, or otherwise identify the person), look in his or her eyes and say: I need you to not interrupt me when I am talking just as I would not interrupt you when you are talking. Once you assert yourself like that, in this example, your anger will subside.

    anita

    #87332
    Maria Mango
    Participant

    Thanks Anita, next time I will be more assertive!

    #87333
    Maya
    Participant

    hey Anita…u interested in frnshp with me?

    #87336
    anita
    Participant

    You are welcome Maria.

    * Dear Maya: what does frhshp means? I suppose friendship… you mean exchanging emails? I am not clear on what you mean??

    anita

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