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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Grenada 3 weeks, 4 days ago.

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  • #314191

    Aisha
    Participant

    Is there a technical psychological term to describe a psychological discomfort at being deprived of the opportunity to do good or to care for someone? I’d like to look it up if there is and how to best deal with it?

    #314225

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Aisha:

    “a psychological discomfort at being deprived of the opportunity to do  good or to care for someone”-

    Maybe I will be able to think of a term if you describe the specifics of the situation. Here is an example that is true to my childhood experience:

    I was very sad that my mother was unhappy and worked too hard, so I wanted to help my mother, to make her happy-I cleaned the house and brought her flowers that I picked outside, but my mother got angry and said: now I have more work to do because you didn’t clean right! And about the flowers, she (might have said, I don’t remember): you brought dirt into my house!

    I was deprived of an opportunity to do good or care for my mother because she rejected my efforts.

    – what situation is true to you?

    anita

    #314735

    Peggy
    Participant

    Hi Aisha,

    It sounds as if you are going through a form of rejection.  There is always the opportunity to help someone else – a friendly hello to an elderly neighbor or single parent sometimes is enough to brighten someone’s day.  Opening a door for someone or carrying their shopping is caring and creating ‘good’ feelings.  Joining in community projects and volunteering gives you opportunity which no-one else can deprive you of.  Are you asking the question in the context of a particular person or situation?

    Peggy

    #314889

    Grenada
    Participant

    Codependency

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