Home→Forums→Relationships→The guy behaviour is confusing
- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 7 months ago by Christopher.m.
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April 17, 2015 at 8:50 pm #75490TinyParticipant
Hi,
I had been dating a guy for 2 months now. Everything is going smoothly. We talk every night on the phone, text each other day and night and see each other every weekends. We are officially bf/gf. I have seen his family and his friends. He shows his love to me through texts or in person. I can say I believe he loves me. He mentions I am the “one” for him and he wants to be with me forever. However, I have a question in the back of my mind as to why when he is with me he still constantly text the other girl he used to date? He even mentioned to me that the girl’s text messages are interesting and enjoys reading it. He said he sees the girl as just a friend and the girl is not his match for him. He said he will never meetup or talk over the phone with her.
What do you think is going in the mind of this guy? What is he thinking? Should I have a talk with him about my concern? What should I do? Is it right for a guy to continue texting a girl he used to date even though he has a gf?
Thank you for reading.
April 17, 2015 at 8:54 pm #75492JulieParticipantIf they are just friends now then he should introduce you to her.
If he is not willing, then maybe you should question his honesty.April 17, 2015 at 9:07 pm #75493TinyParticipantWell he said he considered her as only texting friend. So do you still think I should question his honesty?
April 18, 2015 at 2:01 pm #75501WillParticipantYou can bring this up. You don’t have to come on to a forum and ask strangers what’s going on in his mind. We don’t know. It’s not necessarily weird for him to be in touch with someone he knows well and who was very important to him at one point.
You have some concerns about his relationship with this person, it’s clearly bothering you, so say so. Don’t accuse him of anything, don’t “question his honesty” or make a big scene, just say, “hey, I know we talked about this before, but I just have a funny feeling about this girl you used to be with. Can we talk some more about how you’re feeling about her and why you like talking to her so much? And can we talk about how you feel about me?”
If you just talk about yourself and your feelings, he’ll hopefully respond in a supportive and reassuring way. If he’s dismissive and defensive, then maybe that’s more reason to worry, and then you can tell him that’s made you worry more. If you can work through this together, your relationship will be the stronger for it.
April 18, 2015 at 3:19 pm #75506Christopher.mParticipantIMO he loves the attention and having his ego stroked by his ex… This is a bad sign. Being friends with exes is a terrible idea since he likely views either you or her as a back up plan (or maybe both).
In this case just be honest and tell him he needs to remove this source of temptation from his life if you and him are to bond closely…he should be texting his male friends and family, not someone he used to sleep with.
Namaste
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