Dealing with parents is tough. We owe them a certain level of respect and gratitude for bringing us into this world. I struggle with communicating with my mother also. She always judges me by my past mistakes and always brings them up or assume I will act in a way to repeat history. Instead of being supportive that I make my own choices and that I am a different person now, one who has learned from my mistakes. I know she just does this because she cares about me and wants the best for me. I cant ask her to stop being herself, and I cant stop being myself either. So where do we go from there? I read an article on here though that made me think differently about how I deal with my mother.

Setting Emotional Boundaries: Stop Taking on Other People’s Feelings

Im sorry you have given up on love, I suspect you have been hurt enough times that you dont dare risk these feelings again. However, the crappy thing about love is, to have it you must risk. If you are meeting and dating manipulators and cheaters, you may need to take a look at why are you attracted to men who do this to you. Its very easy to sit home alone and think “whoa is me” it a lot harder to sit and look into the mirror see deep into it and say although I have been in some unfortunate circumstances, what role have my choices played in getting me to where I am at?

People absolutely manipulate to get what they want, I do it, and you probably do also. Cheating is a tough one, there are narcissists who will probably cheat any chance they get without concern or conscience. We need to be able to recognize these people early and steer clear. Healthy boundaries helps, as often these people will try to bull doze through them early on. If you have them, they try to run over them, thats a red flag to pay attention to. Then there are people like me. I’ll be honest I emotionally cheated on my ex. I had a illicit online conversation with a former fling. It not only destroyed my relationship. My choice destroyed myself and demolishing who I thought I was as a person. So please dont be so harsh to judge, we all are capable of inconsiderate acts, it doesnt make us bad people. Going to counseling I learned, cheating, isnt a reflection on just one side. Its simply the tip of an iceberg of relationship and personal problems. Its just where all the issues break through to the surface and become visible. The cheating is the what, everything below the water is the why…… It by no means is an excuse at all, nor even a justification. However, to be in a relationship one must posses a decent ability to be open and understanding, a willingness to feel empathy for someone elses crappy decisions. Its not always a reflection of you, but them and their issues, and of the issues and the dynamic yall share together. Like it was for me.

You certainly have someone to talk to, you have me, and everyone else who contributes onto these forums. We are your support, we are your cheer section, we are people who will tell you whats up and when its you or its them. So dont be a stranger. However we are no replacement for the connection you want to feel from someone else you can be truly open and vulnerable to. I want the same in my life. However my lack of being able to find it thus far wont scare me from continuing to try and putting myself out there the way I need to. You never know how many “Mr Rights” you’ve passed up because you let fear take the wheel. You have to accept your responsibility in participating in getting what it is you want for your life. Not expecting some guy to rush in an make you feel like its ok, to give him what he deserves. Every relationship will end, until one doesn’t. Try, try again my dear.

PTSD can be an enormous obstacle. My ex suffered from this, I wasnt sensitive and supportive as I should have been. Ultimately your own health is your own responsibility no one elses. Sounds like you are taking steps to address it, Huzzah!! Great 🙂

Life is about timing, opportunity and choices. As soon as all three line up, we’ll be good to go. I wish you the best of luck in your journey! Much peace and care.