Hey Linds,

I think forgiveness is such a hard concept. If you really sit down and think about “what is forgiveness” or “how have I forgiven people in the past”, can one really put an instruction sheet together on how it was done successfully? I haven’t been able to write instructions on it myself, and I have found that it is a continous process. I can feel one day that I have really forgiven a person or situation whereas the following day I then have some resentment of hurt creep up. It is ongoing.
In response to your question, I just have a concept for you to think about. In my opinion, forgiveness has so much to do with the act of letting go. Letting go of the emotions, the perceptions, the cause, and the effect of an offensive situation. When we are in the situation, in this case the relationship, perhaps he was unable to forgive you because he was not able to let go of everything attached to the situation that needed forgiveness. Now that he is out of the relationship and has had some breathing room, the space offered him some clarity as well as the natural process of detaching and letting go of the relationship and situations associated with it. It feels nearly impossible in the moment of offense to forgive. And I know it hurts so bad when it feels like one’s partner could not give fogiveness a chance while in the relationship in an effort to try and make the relationship work. The human process is exactly that, a process. If you are anything like me, I would encourage you to try not to be too hard on yourself and work to forgive yourself for any wrongs or need for improvement in your half of the relationship. Try to give the situation up to a higher power, whomever that is for you. It has a bigger plan for you.