Yes, I believe in reincarnation.

Firstly, You seem to be knowing your fear very well and you also want to overcome it. You are almost halfway into conquering it. I hope you pave your way soon and do let me know !!!!

I am very sure about one thing, you would have to look for an answer from within.

.

Thanks

Dear chokko:

Thank you!

They locked you up in your room so you couldn’t get out? And in the cellar too? What did you do, when you were locked in your room/ cellar: cry, scream for help, knock on the wall… beg for them to let you out? And if you did any of these things, did they open the door for you and come in to calm you down, or did they unlock the door so you can leave?

anita

Dear amandine:

Please talk with your therapist, the next session, about being locked in your room and in the cellar when you were eight. This is very significant in the formation of your current anxiety.

You were anxious at eight or before, this is why you needed your parents’ comfort and wanted to spend the night with them. Unfortunately for you, they made your anxiety worse by locking you in your room and in the cellar. They must have locked you because you refused to stay alone, in your room. They told you to go back to your room, but you were so scared, you were unable to do so. So the locked you, and that scared you more, much more.

I am so sorry. I feel great sadness for that little girl that you were, and hope very much for the young woman that you are to heal. There is no possible way for any child, to be traumatized the way you have been, and to not suffer great anxiety as an adult.

The … “good news” is that there is nothing wrong with you outside the trauma/ injuries inflicted on you by your parents. You were a healthy child before they injured you and you can be healthy again. Healing is possible, in competent psychotherapy. Do not underestimate those experiences (and what lead you to seek spending the nights with them to start with).

Please post again anytime. When distressed, take a hot bath, go for a brisk walk outside, play calming music, slow down your thinking best you can. Be very gentle with yourself. The anxiety itself, however bad and threatening it feels, will not kill you. You were already very, very scared as a child, locked up, before and after, many times- and you physically survived it!

You are safe. The fear will not kill you. Please keep it in mind.

anita

Dear chokko/ Amandine (which one do you prefer?)

I wish your therapy-to-be was more promising. Isolation (which is what being locked up in your room is about) is traumatizing to animals, not only to humans. There were experiments done with monkeys, even rats that show clear evidence that it is so.

You are welcome. It does get better, when you work on it. My therapy lasted two years. After the two years (moved to another state) I continued on my own, using the insight in therapy and the skills taught there. Healing is possible, so please have hope. Post anytime.

anita