Trouble moving on…

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    My ex and I broke up 7 months ago after a 3 year long relationship. Our relationship was long distance and we were discussing next steps when he abruptly left me. Later I found out that he started a relationship with someone else 6 months before we broke up. We work together so I have to encounter him from time to time. And I have to see him in person at a work event, in a few weeks, which ironically is the same event where we first started our relationship which will most likely trigger some emotions. He reached out to me yesterday to say he wants to be friends and meet up for a drink while he’s in town. And today he deleted all of our shared photos (which was like a stab in the heart). I know it’s really over between us but I think my heart has been holding on to some false hope that we could reconnect and fix our relationship.  Over the months I have gotten lots of mixed messages from him and I was always hoping he would explain to me why he did what he did. That never happened. So I know I need to move on and I really want to now. That  said, I have struggled with letting go and was wondering if anyone had any advice on that. Also any tips on how to handle seeing him in person. Thank you for taking the time to read this.


    Dear Tricia

    It is so hard when you get mixed messages. Our mind likes to hang on to any little sign of hope  and also does not like not having answers/closure. Mindfulness and meditation help you see these mind tendencies as they arrive and help you step back from them so that they eventually lessen in intensity and frequency.

    Some may say when you meet your ex imagine him as fat & old!

    Are you close to anyone at work who will be at is event as well? if so maybe you could ask them to hold your hand metaphorically. The best way thru is to appear cool calm & confident, look your best without it look like you are trying too hard, so clothing that is comfortable & that you feel makes you look good ie dont were ultra high heals when you are used to wearing flats. If alcohol is on offer,  remember that it hinders our judgement and interferes with the control of our emotions.

    Your Ex has not acted honorably and you do not have to be his friend especially since you are living in different locations. polite cordial indifference is the best that he deserves from you.

    I wish you all the best




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