* Dear Julio:

You’ve been in a monogamous relationship with your girlfriend for six years, correct?

First, do not ask her any more questions about her sexual past before she met you. If she volunteered such information, ask her to no longer volunteer such information. Do the same regarding your past.

Regarding the information you already know, don’t bring it up anymore, no matter how compelled you feel to bring it up. No matter how badly you want to bring it up- don’t. Resist the desire to bring it up.

Bringing it up has become a habit. To break the habit of bringing it up, don’t. Over time the compulsion, that desire to bring up the topic, will weaken. This is how you break that habit.

anita

Geovane, you have created a compelling argument but I think it mainly applies to young guys for whom peer group dictates self-worth. As you mature as a man, you care less about what your peer group thinks and focus more on what you need out of a relationship between two separate and distinct adults with different needs and histories, different dreams and priorities.