Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→Truth about my virginity should I confess to him?
- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 4 months ago by Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
April 10, 2015 at 5:19 am #75145SenoritaParticipant
Hi
I want to share and ask for your opinions. Actually I am engaged to Jason; my fiancé and next year we are getting married. He just phoned me and told me that he’s going to confess things to me and was asking whether I’ve to say something or a secret because we are about to start a new life. I hid him I wasn’t a virgin when I met him. Once he asked me I told him yes I wasn’t virgin when we met but he was like not believing me and thought I was kidding. Then I thought it was maybe good enough to let things go.Till now he thinks he was the first one in my life. Today when he asked if I have anything to confess I thought of telling my virginity topic. Would it be right friends or not. I don’t want to hurt him because besides me he has no one to trust. He continuously tells me to be by his side forever. He needs me. Please give me your opinions friends. Thanks.April 10, 2015 at 9:03 am #75152Kori ElizabethParticipantSenorita,
I think that when you are honest, even if the truth hurts a little, it will build more trust overall. I am a huge people pleaser and many times in my life I have tried to hide the truth to keep from hurting people. In the end a lie or dishonesty (even for a “good reason) always hurts them more and damages that trust, sometimes beyond repair. If you guys are going to start a marriage and future life together, be as open and honest as you can, not just for him, but you too! You will feel better.
Start an open channel of communication that continues the span of your relationship.
You are loved.
<3 Kori
June 23, 2015 at 7:10 am #78719ChayaParticipantHi Senorita,
I would say that it makes the most sense to tell him the truth about your virginity. Living with a lie (or even a half-truth), in my experience, takes a lot of emotional energy. My grandfather once told me something profound – “If you tell the truth, you don’t need to remember the details of what you said”. Meaning, it’s much simpler to just speak the truth.
Good luck,
Chaycups
June 23, 2015 at 7:23 am #78723AnonymousGuestDear senorita:
I don’t think it is necessary to tell him AGAIN that you were not a virgin when you met him. You already told him once and he chose to not believe it. If you told him that once in a serious way, not in a laughing, making a joke kind a way and he took it as a joke, it may mean he prefers to think of you as a virgin, feeling better that you are in the face of you telling him otherwise.He prefers to believe you were a virgin. If you can handle it, let it be.
I am not absolutely sure of my advice. There may be other elements to consider, but that is my feel for it.
Oh, and about confessing- are you going to tell him all your past sins, real or imagined? Why? If you believe you and him have what it takes to make a good, healthy relationship, confessing of irrelevant things- like your virginity and many other details- is not necessary and can lead to unecessary complications. Keep it simple.
anita -
AuthorPosts