November 30, 2018 at 5:29 am #267005
Thank you so much for the attention you have been giving to our conversation.
I am sorry I did not get back to you earlier. I have been working a lot at the University and got home very tired these past days.
Yes, the baby elephant image is perfect. I can see myself in that situation through my life.
Your advice on how to retrain the mind – to give a different meaning to what the inner critic is saying – was very important to me. How could I ever be kind to myself if I don’t do this? The inner critic exists for a reason and I understand that – but I now see more clearly the importance of taking away its cruelty and of giving it a kinder voice.
I realize I have been listening to Lucia all the way – and that I did not develop a inner structure strong enough to deal with it.
I guess my consciousness about many things is amplifying…
I’ll write more tonight,
FláviaNovember 30, 2018 at 5:59 am #267025
Good to read from you! If you post again tonight, after I get away from the computer, I will read and reply when I am back, about this time tomorrow. If you are busy or tired, no worries, post any time you want, any time you feel like it, no timeline requirements here!
anitaDecember 6, 2018 at 4:33 pm #268177
These past few days have been difficult. I feel like crying and very tired. Sometimes I have to ask my daughter for help since I feel so strange and confused. She said she thinks that I am going through some kind of change. I guess I am struggling to get rid of my old way of thinking.
I keep going to work as usual, I talk to people as usual and try to be brave. The baby elephant you told me about comes to my mind, old thoughts and sensations come to my mind – But I think I am going to make it – I hope.
You mentioned timeline requirements – and that’s exactly how I feel – I feel like I have to meet a deadline all the time.
Of course I have many of them, but the feeling goes beyond meeting deadlines at work. It is a kind of sense of urgency.
So, I take a breath, calm down, drink a lot of water, and keep going.
Thanks for listening!
FláviaDecember 7, 2018 at 8:40 am #268241
I would like to understand what you mean by “a kind of sense of urgency”?
I think that your “so strange and confused” is what happens when we see the ground we walked on all these years differently. We aren’t walking stable on it like before. Does that make sense to you?
All those years growing up and during this long marriage you adjusted to the way things were in your life. You adjusted well. Now, things have changed and you see how things really were all along. It is almost (is it?) like waking up from a dream.
I hope to read from you soon, let’s continue to talk. No timeline to our talks, but if it helps you, please post again, anytime you’d like.