I am going to try to explain everything that has happened regarding my friends since I’ve entered college. This one girl and I requested each other to be roommates (just like soo many people do at colleges around the United States), but my school doesn’t guarantee you the roommate you request. In fact, so many people didn’t get the roommate they requested along with the dorm they requested. (For example: some people put dorm building A as their last choice and building B as their first and they got building A, while others put dorm building A as their first choice and B as their last and got building B instead). So long story short… I didn’t get my roommate.

The roommate that I did get seemed pretty cool but I could tell she was not similar to me. I like to socialize, party, dress nice, wear makeup, do my hair, and have fun with fun people. My roommate doesn’t really like to party and she looks down upon people who party all the time and hang out with boys. She also doesn’t really talk to boys. Which is fine!!! I didn’t see it as a big deal and thought we could be friends (as everyone seems to be with their roommates). We actually ended up sticking together for the first week and made friends with 2 other girls. So us 4 would get lunch and dinner together along with other activities for the first 3 weeks. I have a boyfriend who would visit me and who I would leave campus for to visit him. I think they thought this was weird or maybe they subconsciously realized that I wasn’t similar to them. I also found myself realizing I am not like them when they were constantly talking badly about the girls who went out and partied all the time. Maybe we both realized I was dissimilar to them by our conversations… who knows. Either way they stopped hanging out with me and stopped inviting me places. Weird. So during the 4th week of college it was kinda hard for me as I realized that everyone seems to have their friend groups while I was suddenly ditched. I am trying to think of things I may have done wrong to make them stop inviting me but I honestly think I just didn’t vibe with them. I am a shy girl so I wouldn’t do or say anything crazy that would offend anyone. Although one thing that I think they may not have liked is the fact that I was hanging out with other people besides them. Maybe they thought I was friends with other people so they stopped inviting me? I don’t know.

Since then I have been trying to become friends with other people that I hung out with in the earlier weeks but they seem to have their own friends. I have been tagging along with those friends and their friend groups but I feel like an outsider. And then I wonder if they like me… and wonder why I am not vibing with anyone?

I have come to the decision that I am going to just let other people come to me. Because I am tired of feeling out of place when tagging along with other people’s friends. Last night I texted one girl “hey are you doing anything tonight” because we told each other we wanted to hangout this weekend. and she didn’t answer for 2 hours until she randomly said “hey sorry my friends and I are going to get ice cream downtown right now do you want to come??” I felt a little weird because her and her friends are super close. And she waited 2 hours to respond when she clearly had plans so maybe she was trying to decide if she really wanted to hangout with me. It was awkward for me when I was hanging out with them because I only knew like 2 of the girls. I felt out of place.

I am not sure what advice/help I am asking for. I am just lonely and want friends. And I wonder if something is wrong with me since I can’t find my group. Everyone from back home is partying and seem to have found their best friends. I’ve tried everything with people. At this point I feel like I am doing all the work. Nobody has invited me anywhere or asked to hangout. I always walk in the rooms of people around me who are hanging and ask “what’s up” and they seem inviting to me and tell me to come in. But nobody ever walks into my room.

• This topic was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by Katie.
• This topic was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by Katie.