My first boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months plus ago. We were together for more than 2 years. We were in a brief long distance relationship for more than 7 months. I was the first one to initiate a breakup, but decided to give it another chance after he convinced me to stay, then he changed his mind after a month later where he decided to break up with me permanently.

At the beginning, I was the one who did the chasing and he refused me but decided to give the relationship a chance after I decided to move on. My ex boyfriend has always been insecure about the relationship, because he would always worried about me leaving him and described me as an ‘unicorn’ that was too good  to be true. During our time together, we would always talk about our future together, kids and marriage.

After starting the long distance relationship on March 15 last year, we would call and text each other everyday from day to night. The distance started to affect our relationship when he started two jobs (less time to communicate with each other), problems started to arise when he started to prioritize his friends over spending time calling or texting me. I started to get insecure since he would only call me when I reminded him. Although, he would tell me what he did when he went MIA.

The month before the breakup, he started to become distance and spoke lesser about himself but would ask what I was up to. During the week before the breakup, my ex asked if I wanted to visit him for his convocation this summer and whether I want to marry him after that. I told him that we should meet each other’s parents first and try to convince my mom before we get married (My mom doesn’t like him, not sure why), he became silent then I asked him why but he said nothing was wrong.

On the day we broke up, he was asking what I was up to and I thought he wanted to talk so I called him but he didn’t pick up the phone or answer any of my text. I got really angry and said mean stuff to him, he answered me that night saying that my mom was right about him, not being the right guy for me and all and he told me I should go find another guy since ‘ I am just a person who cross path with you’. I kept asking him why and kept calling him, when he finally answered he sounded extremely cold and calm. He told me the usual break up line ‘ it’s not you but me’, and he said it’s only a break up that I shouldn’t have been so sad.

I tried to do no contact the first week but failed since he kept texting me and I told him to give me some space but he continued. He gave up trying to contact me after the first week so I got angry and called him (which I am not proud of my behaviour during the breakup).  He told me after first week of no contact, he decided it wasn’t worth it anymore to continue the relationship ( the reconcile?) and we kinda stay friends (I think we are friends) till now.  My ex would kept apologizing for what  his behaviour towards me (avoid replying me) and for not treating me better when we were together.

He started to ignore my text last month, not asking how I was or giving much attention to me. My gut feeling told me there was another girl in his life, I found out that he started dating a new girl only after a month into the breakup after I asked him about it (tried to hide it from me to keep me from feeling bad). He told me they only knew each other for a few weeks and he asked her out afterwards. I got extremely angry (which again not proud of myself) so I went no contact with him for only a few days. I started to text him again but quality of the relationship was horrible, it felt like low maintenance since he would just kinda text back occasionally or not at all.

My self worth began to drop to the point where I compare myself to nothing, I started to stalk him on facebook, and found who he was dating (again not proud), which made me felt even worst since she was the opposite of me (petite and younger). Whenever I mentioned I was nothing to him or disposable, he would try to cheer me up by saying kind words to me which felt contradicting as he would always ignore my text.