Hi Felix. Somebody else has a thread on Ukraine.  I find myself checking a couple times a day.  I’m not sure why your mother would say this.  I am keeping my eyes open for anything to sign and will donate.  I’m not sure what else can be done.  Govt where I live is sending money for ammunition, but they can’t just go in a s far as I know, it has to go through international processes.

I think it’s wrong to say nobody cares.

Hi Felix

If your a highly sensitive person the last few years were likely difficult enough as it is, now with the absurdity of war all to regain some imagined past that never existed… I’m not doing a great job of managing my frustration and anxiety.

What can we do? I agree that we should be careful about becoming fixated on the news. “The car goes where your eyes go. The driver who cannot tear his eyes away from the wall as he spins out of control will meet that wall; the driver who looks down the track as he feels his tires break free will regain control of his vehicle.” Taking time to step back and take a breathe from the news in no way means we don’t care. Instead it gives us space to process what were feeling and maybe find ways to look down the track, to the things we can do, vice the wall we fear.

Practicing self-care as Helcat suggest is very important. I think the first step is noticing when one is getting stuck and or fixated on negative emotions and helpless. Noticing one might take a step back, find a friend, get and or give a hug….

As a highly sensitive person I tend to ‘feel’ the emotions of those around me. Sometimes its difficult for me to distinguished between the emotions that are mine and those that belong to others. Meditation and contemplation has help in that regard though today in those quite moments as I setup my boundaries of light its hard not to notice how dark the darkness is that is pushing back. Again I am confronted with the paradox of maintaining a healthy detachment that remains engaged. How easily that has broken down and descended into times of indifference and depression.  Mindfulness helps me to notice and take the steps I can to avoid that pit.

At times like this we can’t help but feel helpless and I wonder if that isn’t the greatest source of our anxiety. We realize how little influence we have while some individuals have far to much influence. Writing that I notice my blood pressure increase and so I take a breath, this is  as it has always been, we play our part.  To focused on what we cannot do does not get anything done. So we do what we can do. Love, pray, give, support, hug, breath… and forgive. (forgiveness does not remove accountability, it detaches the emotions, of hate and anger as the driving force behind holding ourselves and others accountable – not always easy)

Having myself acted on the lies others I fully bought into I can feel compassion for those acting on the lies of Putin. It was compassion that let me out of the fog (did not keep me from being accountable for my failings which was painful). So it is compassion for myself and others as the tool I reach for in these times. So difficult… failing more then I had succeeding, but it is something I can do. Not adding my anger and hate to the situation for others sensitive people to feel.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Peter.

Hi Felix,

I know exactly how you feel. Since last Thursday, I’ve been panicking and crying almost every day now. I was born and raised in Kyiv. Left when I was 14 and have been living in Canada for 17 years. In Ukraine, I have relatives, friends, classmates and all my childhood memories. Since last Thursday, I’ve been having trouble focusing on life outside of the “war news updates” bubble. Don’t even get me started on work – I’m trying to read a document and words are not forming into any comprehensible information in my brain. My husband is involved in organizing humanitarian aid shipments to Ukraine, we’ve sent donations… None of this, of course, feels like enough as the threat of nuclear disaster is looming over everyone – not just Ukraine.

Perhaps we need to accept this as our new reality the same way we’ve accepted the pandemic and the fact that no matter how smart or advanced human population is, there are still so many things out of our control. As for the news feeds, try to stick to the news that focus on humanitarian help and people uniting together in these dark times – something that will help you believe in humanity. Humour helps too – and I’m not trying to downplay the tragedy here. A lot of Ukrainians are trying very hard to keep their spirits high by cracking jokes and sharing funny stories. My favourite one is about a Russian plane that dropped off some troops over an area that was marked as a forest on the map – only the forest had been recently cut down illegally so they ended up in open field and were spotted right away.

As for the Russians – of course, their ignorance makes me incredibly angry. However, I pity them for their powerlessness, for being so brainwashed and cut off from the world. They have nowhere to run and don’t know any better. And the rabid gorilla running around with a hand grenade won’t live forever…

* Dear Peter:

You are welcome and thank you for your kind words!

“Some days it feels too much“, you wrote. It was yesterday or the day before yesterday that I felt something in the morning, something distressing, and I was alarmed, as in thinking: what is this, what is going to happen to me?

Next, I recognized that something and said to myself, oh, that’s Fear. When I said that, I immediately felt better. Labeling it and pointing to it (oh that’s Fear) was like seeing it outside of me, instead of feeling it inside, raging in me and taking over me.

If you want to, you are welcome to start your own thread about these last few years that “have been too much”. This is what these years felt to me, too much, ever since early 2020: the pandemic, escalated climate change, political radicalization and rising autocracy in the world, including the Ukraine invasion. We can talk about any of these and more, if you want. But only if you think it may help you, and for as long as it does. I wish you well regardless!

anita

I remember watching the movie – The Power of One – which takes place in South Africa’s 1930 apartheid. Watching I felt my blood pressure rise as I watch how horrific humans can be towards fellow humans. The horrible things we are capable  of… I remember a scene where the tables are turned on one of the brutish guards. I has this very visceral response of ‘joyous righteousness’  of seeing the guard get his. This righteous anger and hate felt so good. I still remember that moment in the dark theater and how much it scared me. In that moment I knew I was not that different from the guard.  How does one engage with such cruelty without relying on the tools of cruelty like anger, hate and self (ego) righteousness?

Today when I see pictures of Putin gaslighting his people, creating so much needless pain on the world. I feel myself back in the theater desiring righteous vengeance.  All these years and that part of me continues to exist.

Anita. I don’t think a separate thread is necessary. I suspect many of us feel beaten up by what the continuous blows of crises. Its enough to know we arn’t alone.

Hi Felix,

I am with you. It’s horrendous. I have a bit of experience in this as I am of Iraqi descent, and many of my family had to flee when America invaded and occupied. The big difference now though is that Putin is evil. This is genocide. It’s a horror to watch.

The only advice I have is the same advice my cousin from Iraq gave me- give yourself 1 hour each day to check the news. Just one.  I find the less I consume, the less angry I am. It is difficult though.

I also pray. A lot. I pray for the Ukranian people, and for someone to do something about Putin. I envision a kind of International Police arresting Putin from his desk, as if that even exists. I pray for these organizations like NATO and the UN to  stop worrying about breaking the rules and just do something already.  We’re already in WWIII. Let’s act like it, you know?