Hello Austin,

It is my view that unconditional love starts in yourself. After you’ve been filled with it, all the extra will naturally flow towards other people. You don’t have to force yourself to love others or show them love. Feel loved and safe first as an individual and the rest will naturally fall into place.

How to do that? Be compassionate towards yourself. It’s understandable to have all kinds of fears, and abandonment issues are a huge deal to many of us. Acknowledge those fears and care for yourself. You are the only one who can make yourself feel safe and secure. Even if another person were to hug you tight and not let go, it would still have to be you who’d either accept that care and decide to trust, or not.

When you get to a point where you feel that you are loved unconditionally, by yourself, then you don’t need anything from other people, which is why you can give love without fear of being left out. Right now you are expecting something from others, which triggers fears and causes you to snap. It’s understandable, but I don’t think you can fix it by giving more of yourself without first tending to your own needs. You’ll only end up feeling used, because nobody can actually ease your fears. Only you can do that to yourself.

I hope this makes sense 🙂