Dear operez14:

I’d say, before you get into humanitarian work to help others in need, help yourself now as you are the one in need.

Focus on your life and see how you can help yourself. There is not only a way, one way, but ways to help yourself. Feeling depressed at work every day and being “beyond stressful” is not a good way to live.

So in your own life, as it is now, see ways, one at a time, to make it better for you.

I hope you continue to post. I for one, am willing to communicate with you on an ongoing basis in the search for those ways. Others will have input that can be very helpful to you, input that I don’t have to offer to you. So please, let’s embark on this humanitarian work of helping you!

anita

Dear operez14:

Yes, it does sound wise to me. Your job being the only thing in your life making you miserable. Absolutely.

You mentioned in your original post that your job pays well (Payoff #1, I am thinking).

You mentioned you don’t have a college degree (fear you won’t be able to get a good enough job out there without a degree?)

Then there is others’ perceptions of you, your family’s perception (“He has such a good paying job.. He is successful..) and there may be fear about losing that esteem by others.

These three above are for you to consider: are they valid in your mind? If so, each one (and other points that I didn’t think about yet, but you may, and please do) will have to be addressed as part of this quest.

anita

Hi Operez14,

I feel your situation, I was in the same boat for many years. I gave up teaching because it once gave me the joy and career I thought I needed but it soon became stressful and joyless. To the point I manifested severe ailments that left me physically crippled and had to endure many years of doctors poking and prodding to figure out what was killing me. In the end, simply giving up my career saved my life. However, I do miss it and suffered years of depression because I felt I failed and didn’t reach my full potential career-wise. Worse, our income and lifestyle suffered further making me feel like I failed my family. My husband and I made a conscious decision to downsize our home, move to an area with low taxes and cut back on unnecessary expenses. This helped us continue having a similar lifestyle as before and allowed me to go out to find a new career…which has been arduous and full of soul searching and truly unsatisfying. I now work for a corporation, doing data entry work for hourly pay for 1/2 of what I used to make. The work is easy and not complicated and I make my own hours. 100% of my pay going toward my retirement and my kids college fund. Trade off was not using my mind, not really helping others, forget being creative and not having a voice at my job. Sounds depressing, but I’m okay with it because I changed my objective from wanting a career to saving for my kids future and my retirement, something both my husband and I agreed was the best for us both. I’ve learned that my “career” is not where happiness lies. Hence, why the last part of your questions is the most important to answer.

Your question was “There has to be a way to help others, in the community, in other towns, cities, and even countries. I would love to get into humanitarian work, but haven’t the slightest idea of how to get involved but still be able to provide for my family. There must be a way, right?”

These were the same questions I asked myself — where can my talents best be applied and I can feel passion again?
For me it was politics and educating others. I joined civic groups that helped with giving out info about local elections and going to elected official town hall meetings, discussing with them and learning more about city politics and helping with their campaigns. While this is not for most, it made me feel useful and also helped me learn politics. I serve on local community boards for the city, where my opinions counts and I can make suggestions, use my creativity and experience to help make my community a better place. It has made me a better person and has strengthened my marriage, given my children a good example and helped me feel part of my community.

Point being, how can you use your talents, experience, and time to help your community? There are tons of organizations looking for volunteers. http://www.volunteermatch.org/ is a great resource to start looking for volunteer opportunities. You pick the one that best suits you. Civics is government, civil is non-for-profit. Which rocks your boat? Want to do activities with your family? Once a year, my family cleans up the river for the Parks and Rec. My husband spends time with the boys by being a volunteer pack leader for Boy Scouts. There are tons of volunteer opportunities, just go with what brings you joy. Go slow and be picky, say No to things that would further stress you. Remember being a volunteer should not feel like a chore or intrude upon your life but add to it and make you feel alive again.

BTW, as you volunteer, use the opportunity to network build connections and new circles of friends. You will learn new skills and build upon your existing skills, all great for your resume. You can use this opportunity to find a job in the Non-for-profit sector or government sector.

Hope this helps and gives you food for thought.
Best of luck!!